Boris Karloff credited as playing...
Byron Orlok
- Byron Orlok: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I'd like to leave you with a little story to think about as you drive home - through the darkness. Once upon a time, many years ago - there should be a pin spot on my face as I'm talking - once upon a time, many, many years ago, a rich merchant in Baghdad sent his servant to the marketplace to buy provisions. And after a while, the servant came back, white-faced and trembling, and said, "Master, when I was in the marketplace, I was jostled by a woman in the crowd, and I turned to look, and I saw that it was Death that jostled me. And she looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Oh, Master, please, lend me your horse, that I may ride away from this city and escape my fate. I will ride to Samara, and Death will not find me there." So the merchant loaned him the horse, and the servant mounted it and dug his spurs into its flank, and as fast as the horse could gallop, he rode towards Samara. Then the merchant went to the marketplace, and he saw Death standing in the crowd, and he said to her, "Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?" And Death said, "I made no threatening gesture. That was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him here in Baghdad, for I have an appointment with him tonight in Samara."
- Kip Larkin, Dejay: OK, groovy, groovy. Now, um, somebody announces me on the PA, uh, laddies and janes, papas and mamas, here's your boss dis daddy, the winner spinner with the sounds around, Kip the Hip Larkin, le-e-t's hearken Larkin...
- Sammy Michaels: All right then, after you finish plugging your show you introduce Mr. Orlok and we can get on with it.
- Kip Larkin, Dejay: No plugs, not Kip the Hip, I am just gonna tell 'em what a big thrill this is for me, and that's no put-on. When I was a kid, Mr. O., I musta dug your flicks four zillion times. You blew my mind.
- Byron Orlok: Obviously.
- Kip Larkin, Dejay: Beautiful. Is that beautiful?
- Byron Orlok: Oh, Sammy, what's the use? Mr. Boogey Man, King of Blood they used to call me. Marx Brothers make you laugh, Garbo makes you weep, Orlok makes you scream.
- Jenny: You'd love it if somehow you could convince yourself you've been betrayed by everyone. Then, you'd really be happy. No guilt and full of self-pity.
- Byron Orlok: Quite a speech!
- Jenny: You ought to hear it in Chinese.
- Byron Orlok: Order some breakfast, would you, Jenny?
- Sammy Michaels: [hungover after a night of drinking with Orlok] Oh, I couldn't eat on an empty stomach.
- Byron Orlok: [watching the audience that is watching his film] Strange not getting any reaction, isn't it?
- Byron Orlok: [as he is being driven to the drive-in theater, looking out the car window while passing many car dealerships] Gosh, what an ugly town this has become.
- Byron Orlok: Sammy, you're a sweet boy, but you can't possibly understand what it feels like to be *me*. I'm an antique, out of date.
- Sammy Michaels: Alright, what are you going to do? Plant roses? Actors don't retire! In about six months and you'll blow your brains out, Byron.
- Byron Orlok: I'm an anachronism.
- Sammy Michaels: What does that mean?
- Byron Orlok: Sammy, look around. The world belongs to the young. Make way for them. Let them have it.
- Byron Orlok: Don't be his errand boy. It nauseates me.
- Sammy Michaels: I didn't come out here because of that.
- Byron Orlok: I know you came to save your own little opus.
- Byron Orlok: I feel no remorse, I can tell you that. The thought of never laying eyes on Smith and Loughlin again fills me with joy. So, you can just stop being my little Oriental conscience.
- Byron Orlok: Don't call him back, Ed. Why torture yourself?
- Ed Loughlin: That's my job. I get paid to be a masochist.
- Byron Orlok: What's it all about?
- Sammy Michaels: What?
- Byron Orlok: Everybody's dead. I feel like a dinosaur. Oh, I know how people think of me these days. Old-fashioned, outmoded.
- Byron Orlok: Look, my dear. I know you have an Oxford degree and perhaps all this is unworthy of your many talents. But you are only my employee.
- Jenny: There's an old Chinese saying, "With the rich and powerful, always a little patience."
- Byron Orlok: Very clever of the Chinese.