Tom Bosley credited as playing...
Family Doctor
- Family Doctor: [giving Mike his draft exam] How's your mother feeling?
- Mike Beardsley: You mean my stepmother. She's fine, I guess.
- Family Doctor: [while testing Mike with stethoscope] ... No morning sickness?
- Mike Beardsley: No, doc, I feel fine.
- Family Doctor: Not you--your mother!
- Mike Beardsley: Well, why should she have mor--? Morning sickness!
- [rolls his eyes in disbelief]
- Medical Assistant: We need a sample of your blood.
- Mike Beardsley: Take it all...
- Howard Beardsley: Is, uh, is this the Beardsleys' new house?
- Nancy Beardsley: We've come to deliver the babies.
- Family Doctor: Oh, have a heart! Leave them on somebody else's doorstep.
- Family Doctor: What you have is a simple case of pregnancy. P-R-E-G...
- Helen North: Doctor, if anyone knows how to spell it, I do!
- Family Doctor: Call my wife, will you, and tell her I'm on my way home?
- [beat]
- Family Doctor: And tell her thank you.
- Frank Beardsley: For what?
- Family Doctor: We don't have any children.