Frank Thornton credited as playing...
The BBC
- Lord Fortnum of Alamein: [His top hat has a miniature radar on top] I tell you, it's the latest early-warning hat. It gives you that extra 4 minutes in bed.
- The BBC: I never wore a hat in bed. I've been a Catholic person for a long time now, and I wouldn't know where to begin.
- The BBC: On this the third, or is it the fourth, anniversary of the nuclear misunderstanding which led to the Third World War, here is the--of the Third World War, here is the last recorded statement of the Prime Minister, as he then was, who had just succeeded his illustrious father into office, "I feel I am not boasting when I remind you that this was, without a shadow of a doubt, the very shortest war in living memory. Two minutes, 28 seconds, up to and including the grave process of signing the peace treaty fully blotted. The great task of burying our 40 million dead was also carried out in great expediency and good will.
- The BBC: You know, this great country of ours often sticks in the mud of the past, searches out and holds up to the light the mistakes of past times.
- The BBC: That, I'm afraid, was the end of the news. Our next scheduled program will be on August bank holiday, when Charlton Heston will wrestle his Holiness the Pope, for the Sportsman of the Year title. Until then, all walk backwards into long shot while 'Good Night' is given.
- [singing]
- The BBC: God Save Mrs. Ethel Shroake, Long Live Mrs. Ethel Shroake, God Save Mrs. Ethel Shroake...
- The BBC: What will you have, old boy?
- Bules Martin: I'll have a large--eh--water.
- The BBC: Water?
- Bules Martin: No. Not for me.