Gamera vs. Guiron

This is one of the most unusual Gamera films because most of the action takes place on another planet instead of Earth. However, it pretty much is like all the other films in the series except for the fact that the producers pretty much up the level of violence. Also, the villanous aliens in this film are women, just like in Kaiju soshingeki (aka Destroy all Monsters). However, as I have said in my previous commentaries about the Gamera series, this is a good way to introduce young children to the wonderful world of kaiju films.

Basically Gamera fights a giant knife with an attitude! Alot of people put the Gamera series down for being cheap, but you know what? They were fun! At least Gamera fought a different monster (mostly outlandish ones at that) every movie. Unlike the Godzilla movies where Mothra, Ghidorah, and MechaGodzilla seem to pop up in every other flick. Anyway this movie follows Gamera VS Viras. It has the same concept. Two kids (one American, one Japanese) are the stars. And there is plenty of stock footage flashbacks too. Then things get bizarre. Gurion (the knife with the attitude) slices up a silver painted Gyoas. Shoots ninja stars at Gamera. Gamera sprays out blue blood. Swings around on parallel bars. And does a "la cucaracha" dance to remove some ninja stars stuck in his arms! He then finishes off Gurion by slamming his knife head into the ground, so Gurion is upside down with his legs kicking! Bizarre stuff. Throw in two Japanese women in funky space suits that drug the kids with tainted powdered donuts so they can eat thier brains and you can see what my one line summary means....

"Listening to children is neither psychologically or educationally important" This and other bits of tidbits are what is at stake if you dare to watch this Japanese trash. After scientists discover mysterious irregular waves from outer space, 2 boys hi-jack a spaceship to another star -(Earth is a star by the way) - only to watch hilarious monster fights complete with ninja stars from a walking knife, and become trapped by female aliens who want to eat their brains with dremel tools. And the boys thought that these aliens will prevent wars and traffic accidents. Listen to some bad jack-in-the-box music and enter Gamara, a giant go-go dancing turtle who must have had some bad Mexican food and comes to kids rescue after a few turns on the high bar. Boy are these kids going to get a scolding when they get home. I have watched this both with and without MST3K's help and it is roll on the floor hilarious either way. We should all figure out how to live without wars and accidents or we will repent and get our heads shaved.

A trio of children (2 boys and a girl), intrigued by news reports of mysterious sound waves sent to Earth from outer space, star gazing spot a flying saucer! They later find it in a wooded area. The two boys decide to investigate while the girl being more wary decides to wait outside. After entering the spaceship however, the two boys suddenly find themselves being whisked off into space. Along the way they spot and greet Gamera who tries to prevent the ship from leaving our galaxy but even he cannot keep up with its incredible speed. After the ship lands, the two boys find themselves on a strange new planet and suddenly spot another version of Gaos in battle with the planet's guardian, a knife-headed monster with a mean streak named Guiron. Gamera all this time has still been on the trail of the boys' spaceship. Meanwhile aliens are watching all of this with possible evil intentions?

This was tremendous fun. The little kid in me loved every minute of it. Sure the child stars are a bit annoying at times (but more so I suspect to adult ears than to a child's) and the effects aren't always up to par but man do the monster battles ever deliver the goods in this one. They are knock-down drag-out affairs especially those featuring Gamera and Guiron and surprisingly graphic in terms of their brutality yet the film never loses sight of making clear just who is evil and who is good. Like the best pro wrestling of yesteryear, it manages to make the hero Gamera incredibly sympathetic while the villain Guiron comes across as little more than a nasty-tempered brute and a bully who needs to be taught a lesson in manners.

I'm sorry, but when I see any Japanese movie that involves rubber suited creatures, it's cheese. Can't and won't take them serious or see it as having any real artistic value. Their only use is to be made fun of. (This involves any film from any country, I'm not picking on Japan)Anyway Gamera vs. Guiron is the most cheesy (well that and Zigra)of the series. Akio and Richard Burton find a UFO landed in an empty lot not far from home and the home of local police official Officer Cornjob who warns the boys not to behave badly. Anyway spacebabes on the UFO kidnap the boys to their planet to eat their brains and show them a big monster fight. Anyway to conclude early, Gamera shows up to save the day and show them the errors of their ways. Hot spacebabes with Kentucky accents should not be trusted, no matter if they give you jelly donuts. Cornjob could have told you that!!