The Mighty Gorga

Oh, boy, what can I say? The worst giant ape suit ever shown in a movie, and the horribly fake looking, obviously plastic T-rex (and this is coming from a guy who actually found the mechanical sharks in each of the JAWS movies convincing). Think of how much more laughable this would have been if the movie had been about the Tyrannosaurus. It may well have rivaled THE GIANT CLAW for silliest monster movie ever. Forget KING KONG LIVES, _this_ is the worst giant ape flick that has ever been released. A must-see if you're a bad movie fan.

Grab a dozen or so of your friends. Make sure one of them has a camcorder. Have another put on a (cheap) rented gorilla suit from a Halloween store. Finally, go traipsing around somewhere outside where there's vegetation. (Your backyard will do.) And if your little brother has a plastic toy dinosaur you can bring along, so much the better.

I guarantee that whatever you end up recording will turn out as good as or better than "The Mighty Gorga." It really is that bad. Which is often a good thing, except in this case there's too much boredom in between the bouts of jaw-droppingly horrendous "special effects." Yeah, they're special, all right. Some of the specialest ever seen.

Therefore, since laughter is the best medicine, the Good Doctor can recommend watching only about 15 minutes of this atrocity. But figuring out which 15 minutes is the trick.

What can you say about this fine film? My pals and I enjoy getting together a few Fridays a month and watching "bad" cinema - anything and everything - Turkish Star Wars rip-offs, Indonesian ghost movies, gory Vampire movies from Brazil, bad American biker movies. Well, after a long line of cheesy gorilla movies - Konga, Mighty Peking Man, etc. we have stumbled upon this....this....thing. The sound recoridng is so bad, which is a shame because you miss LOTS of bad dialogue. Plus the actors flub their lines constantly and keep on going. Obviously the budget for this 1969 epic must have been 100 bucks and some sandwiches, so it all looks like "we got one take and that' sit. Fine. Print. Lets move on." Horrible acting, there are literally NO special effects, just the worst big monkey outfit I have ever seen (the yes of the ape are just glass marbles,no blinking, no nothing). Now, the first twenty minutes of this film are very hard to take, but hang in there - once they get to the "jungle" (its filmed in Simi Valley, California and it looks it) and stumble the nest of a dinosuar, hold on - because it gets good. BAD good. The phoniest T-Rex you ever saw - in fact it lookslike someone holding up a PLASTIC dinosaur toy just in front of the camera lens and shaking it. Anyway - incredibly bad but oh so good. LOTS of laughs.

A cast of familiar B-movie stars is most appealing. But start your gall bladder engines, quick! I cannot express feelings about the designers who created an ape costume with eyes that look to the right. That's only the minor feature this one has to offer. I'm going to dictate something to you that will shock and amaze you with a bloated stomach. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE has ever thought of filming an ape and a miniature plastic "Godzilla" that came from the Ideal toy factory, in a conflicting battle to their graves for supremacy! Pentium III graphics it sure ain't! Imagine yourself living in 1969. You'd agree why 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY blows this miles out of the sea in stunning visuals. Well, that's enough. Don't forget to eat your daily regimen of bananas and go ape wild! How embarrassing!

On a hunch I picked this one up at the local video retailer, where it was reduced down to ten bucks, thinking it might afford a few laughs. And I was not disappointed. This one is thigh slappingly funny, from the giant ape, whose anatomy consists of a bad mask and two furry gloves (we never see him in full shot), a rubber dolly dinosaur which seems to be doing impressions of Geoffrey Rush in "Shine" and a heroine who....pauses.....more.....than.....William......Shatner. This woman even screams in a monotone. Compulsory viewing.