John McMartin credited as playing...
Oscar
- Oscar Lindquist: The odds against us are at least a hundred to one.
- Charity Hope Valentine: Those are the best odds I ever had.
- Oscar Lindquist: May I see you tomorrow? Maybe we could go to a movie.
- Charity Hope Valentine: Okay, but one with a happy ending. I'm nuts about happy endings.
- Oscar Lindquist: Suppose you want a policy...
- Charity Hope Valentine: Yes, I want a policy. Go on.
- Oscar Lindquist: It's my job to study your particular situation... and then figure out the odds on your meeting with an unfortunate accident... like... like suffo... suff... suff... suffocating in an elevator.
- [He faints]
- Oscar Lindquist: [stuck in an elevator] Listen, I have an idea. What do you think of this? Climbing out the top of the elevator, shimmying up the cable, and then forcing the door open on the floor above.
- Charity Hope Valentine: Well, it might work, but gee, I do think it sounds a little dangerous.
- Oscar Lindquist: Then don't try it. Stay here with me.
- Charity Hope Valentine: [stuck in an elevator] Hey, you're shaking!
- Oscar Lindquist: All over.
- Charity Hope Valentine: Let me rub your wrist.
- Oscar Lindquist: You know what I feel like doing now? I mean, you know what my impulse is? To take off all my clothes.
- Charity Hope Valentine: [stops rubbing Oscar's wrist, steps back] I don't think that would do very much good.
- Oscar Lindquist: [stuck in an elevator] It's stuffy in here. Stuffy, stuffy.
- Charity Hope Valentine: No, no, no, let's keep our clothes on, Oscar.
- Oscar Lindquist: I'm a very calm, organized person. I want you to know that if-if-if-if if-if-if-if if-if-if-if it really comes down to it, you can depend on me. You understand that?
- Charity Hope Valentine: Yeah, I understand.
- Oscar Lindquist: Yeah. I just hope it doesn't come down to it.
- Oscar Lindquist: You know, working in a bank can be very dangerous, you know? In the greater New York area the odds are 1 in 75 that you will be held up at least once in any 12-month period.
- Charity Hope Valentine: Listen, just livin' is dangerous, right?
- Oscar Lindquist: Charity, I'd just about given up ever finding anybody like you. I mean, the world's gone crazy. Every - everything's all mixed up. I mean, the old standards of decency and - and morality, they don't seem to mean anything anymore. When I see the way the girls at the office are passed around, and - the jokes they tell about them are - well, I get sick, Charity. Most people would laugh if I told 'em that.
- Charity Hope Valentine: I'm not laughing, Oscar.
- Oscar Lindquist: [singing] Here was a man, With no dream and no plan, Then one lonely night, I found Sweet Charity, You make life fun for me...
- Oscar Lindquist: Don't you understand? I would destroy you.
- Charity Hope Valentine: But that's okay. I'm not doing much now, anyway.
- Charity Hope Valentine: Oscar, I got so much to give. Please, let me give it to you.
- Oscar Lindquist: Charity, I'm saving you. I'm saving you from me.