Anthony Perkins credited as playing...
Chaplain Tappman
- Maj. Major Major Major: Is something wrong?
- Chaplain Tappman: No, no. I... just thought I saw something.
- Maj. Major Major Major: A naked man in a tree?
- Chaplain Tappman: Yes, that's it.
- Danby: [looking through binoculars] That's just Yossarian.
- [last lines]
- [Yossarian leaps out of the hospital window, fleeing the base. Danby and Tappman watch from the window]
- Danby: Yossarian!
- Yossarian: I can do it, Danby!
- Chaplain Tappman: They'll catch you, they'll bring you back!
- Yossarian: I can do it!
- Danby: This is insane!
- Yossarian: I can do it!
- Chaplain Tappman: What about your clothes?
- Yossarian: They'll never recognize me without my uniform!
- Danby: You'll be on the run with no friends! You'll live in constant danger of betrayal!
- Yossarian: [laughs] I live that way now.
- Danby: Yossarian, for God's sake, hurry up!
- Yossarian: So long, Chaplain!
- Chaplain Tappman: How do you feel, Yossarian?
- Yossarian: Fine - except I'm scared to death.
- Danby: You'll have to keep on your toes every minute.
- Yossarian: I'll keep on my toes.
- Chaplain Tappman: You'll have to jump.
- Yossarian: I'll jump.
- Chaplain Tappman: Jump!
- [Yossarian jumps over a ditch and runs to the sea while inflating a life raft. He leaps into the sea, paddling furiously, and is gone]
- Chaplain Tappman: I'm not here to judge you.
- Yossarian: What are you here for?
- Chaplain Tappman: I'm not too sure about that either.
- Yossarian: What would you do if you were me?
- Chaplain Tappman: I don't know. I mean, I'm not you.
- Yossarian: Imagine that you are me.
- Chaplain Tappman: That's hard. Sometimes I even have troubles imagining that I'm me.
- Chaplain Tappman: I don't know what you mean.
- Lt. Col. Korn, XO: You don't, huh? Well, then who does?
- Chaplain Tappman: I don't know, sir.
- Lt. Col. Korn, XO: You don't seem to know much about anything, do you, Father?
- Chaplain Tappman: No, sir.
- Chaplain Tappman: Indeed, you can see him, when - he isn't there. That is, he'll see you, all right, but only - in his office and only when he's not there. The other times, when he's in, he's not - there - to be seen. Except when he's out.
- Lt. Col. Korn, XO: Are you describing some mystical experience you've had?
- Chaplain Tappman: No, sir. It's just that there are some very peculiar things happening.
- Lt. Col. Korn, XO: You haven't had any ecstatic visions or anything like that have you?
- Chaplain Tappman: No, sir.
- Lt. Col. Korn, XO: Didn't see a burning bush, hear any voices, anything like that?
- Chaplain Tappman: No, sir. It wasn't anything quite so extraordinary.
- Lt. Col. Korn, XO: I hope not! I think we have to keep our supernatural episodes down to a minimum with a war to win and all that.