Charles Grodin credited as playing...
Aarfy Aardvark
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: I only raped her once.
- Yossarian: You killed her.
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: Well, I had to do that after I raped her. I couldn't very well let her go around saying bad things about me, could I?
- Yossarian: Well, what the hell did you have to touch her at all for, you dumb bastard! Why didn't you get some girl off the streets?
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: Not me. I never paid for it in my life.
- Yossarian: Aarfy, are you insane? They're gonna throw you in jail. You just killed a girl. You threw her out the window. She's lying out there in the street!
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: She has no right to be there, you know. It's after curfew.
- Yossarian: My parachute.
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: What about it?
- Yossarian: It's gone!
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: Don't worry about it.
- Yossarian: What do you mean don't worry about it? What am I supposed to do if I have to bail out? Use my handkerchief?
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: That's the kind of humor in the face of adversity that keeps America strong.
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: Looks like they've seen us coming.
- Yossarian: They've seen us! Oh, God, they've seen us!
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: Better get ready to dump those eggs.
- Yossarian: They're shooting at me!
- Yossarian: Don't you realize what you've done? You've murdered a human being! They're gonna hang you!
- Capt. Aarfy Aardvark: I don't think they'll do that, not to good old Aarfy. I don't think they'd make such a fuss over one Italian girl when thousands of lives are being lost every day.