Rock Hudson credited as playing...
Major William Larrabee
- Lili Smith: But then, why *does* he drink?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Because he's afraid to fly.
- Lili Smith: Then why does he fly?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Because he likes to drink!
- Maj. William Larrabee: I thought we'd go on a picnic.
- Lili Smith: At 3:00 in the morning?
- Maj. William Larrabee: It's the best time. No ants.
- Maj. William Larrabee: The lives of hundreds, *thousands* of men depend upon Operation Crêpes Suzette being kept a secret. So what in the name of hellish vanity makes you'd think I'd compromise that in the name of your adolescent, narcissistic ego?
- Lili Smith: *My* ego?
- Lili Smith: [kiss] Would it be indiscreet to say that I missed you?
- Maj. William Larrabee: No.
- Lili Smith: To say that I missed you terribly?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Not quite.
- Lili Smith: Desperately?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Possibly.
- Lili Smith: Passionately?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Definitely.
- Lili Smith: Would you settle for desperately?
- Maj. William Larrabee: I'll settle for passionately.
- Lili Smith: Ohhh. What about my reputation?
- Maj. William Larrabee: I'll risk it.
- Maj. William Larrabee: It's so important I can't even tell you. It isn't that I don't trust you, it's just a matter of national security. I wouldn't even tell my own mother.
- Lili Smith: [long kiss] What was all that talk about top secret missions and Crêpes Suzette?
- Maj. William Larrabee: Just talk. You know, I think you're some kind of a spy.
- Lili Smith: If I told you I was?
- Maj. William Larrabee: I know lots of military secrets.
- Lili Smith: Goood.
- [kiss]
- Lili Smith: Back in a minute to pry them out of you.
- Lili Smith: I want whatever happens this weekend to be honest.
- Maj. William Larrabee: Well, since I have nothing to gain by lying to you: I think you're the most provocative, exciting, and most desirable woman I've ever met.
- Lili Smith: I'll buy that.
- Lili Smith: You've got to admit, seduction can really be very funny, if you stop to think about it.
- Maj. William Larrabee: But you aren't supposed to stop to think about it.
- Lili Smith: Get out of here!
- Maj. William Larrabee: Not until we settle this.
- Lili Smith: We have nothing to settle!
- Maj. William Larrabee: To hell there isn't!
- Lili Smith: Go settle it with Suzette!
- Maj. William Larrabee: Suzette, my foot.
- Lili Smith: Suzette, my crêpes. Get out of my shower! What are you doing? Ahh! Ahh!
- Maj. William Larrabee: Now, let's have it!
- Maj. William Larrabee: [standing clothed in a shower, Lili wrapped in a towel] I think maybe you have to come up with excuses just to avoid the moment of truth.
- Lili Smith: What?
- Maj. William Larrabee: In a word, Miss Smith, I think it's just possible that you're a virgin.
- Lili Smith: Oh!
- [slaps Bill, he grabs her, kisses her, she drops her towel]
- Lili Smith: Bill...
- Maj. William Larrabee: Yeah?
- Lili Smith: Turn on the warm water.
- [Bill turns it on]
- Lili Smith: Oh...
- Maj. William Larrabee: Think we can do it?
- T.C: Yes, but *you'd* better fly, cause I haven't been drinking.