The Vampire Happening

"The Vampire Happening" follows an American actress who inherits a Transylvanian castle that belonged to her countess ancestor. Upon going to visit her newfound property, she not only unleashes the dead, but utter chaos, debauchery, and vampiric shenanigans on the local town.

This is a film that I'd been curious about seeing for a number of years, but had put on the back burner for two reasons: first, it's incredibly difficult to get a hold of; and second, I wasn't sure I'd like it. The scenario sounds intriguing enough, but vampire horror is not my favorite subgenera, and with the comedic angle, I just wasn't sure. Boy, was I wrong.

Let's be clear: this is not a "good" film by any stretch of the imagination, but it most definitely hits all the right notes for a niche audience. It is essentially a no-budget vampire comedy that is crude and absurd—however, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an absolute joy to watch. Its most striking element is most definitely its Gothic atmosphere, accentuated by some relatively solid cinematography. The sets look like they were cribbed straight from a Hammer horror film from the early sixties, which is probably intentional, but the kitsch factor of it all is what makes it so much fun to watch.

The film is about as frightening as a "Scooby Doo" episode, and the humor is completely off-kilter, but there is a strange charm to it all as it balances humor with the macabre. It pokes fun at the subgenera with a sprightly approach, and edges on satire throughout. The cast is made up of multiple international actors and actresses, who spend most of the film half-nude and in various blasphemous scenarios, with Swedish actress Pia Degermark at the helm, playing a dual role as the vampy twentieth-century actress, and her grand-matron counterpart. Degermark is the highlight here, and most of the show is stolen by her.

Overall, I found "The Vampire Happening" to be far better than the reputation that precedes it. It is among the ranks of Jess Franco's most absurd work, and is a delightfully kitschy, Gothic odyssey. It is not a masterwork, nor does it posture itself as one—it's a lovingly satirical re-imagining of the contemporary vampire movie, loaded with bloodletting, tacky set pieces, nudity, and utter blasphemy—which somehow found its way into my heart (and my bloodstream). 8/10.

Pia Degermark looks great throughout. She wears various costumes as she plays the dual role of a modern day baroness and a vampire ancestor who returns from the dead. She also appears nude for those who are not in to costumes.

Overall this is a very goofy movie with a lot of lame comedy. Still though Pia is breathtaking and worth a look just for that.

Eccentric horror/satire by Hammer studios legend Freddie Francis has an American movie starlet (Degermark) inheriting a Transylvanian castle, home to a long deceased though presently undead ancestor who bares a striking resemblance to the actress. Vampire hunters (Hunter and his bumbling, ageing companion Murillo) make several unsuccessful attempts to end the vampire dynasty, even resorting to false fangs in order to infiltrate a vampire masquerade party-cum-orgy. Shameless rip-off of "The Fearless Vampire Killers" is a topless orgy of sex and violence with some wacky slapstick and corny dialogue.

Combining uniquely German beer-hall humour, moody looking sets and an 'international' cast, director Francis has conjured an entertaining romp in which almost every female is topless and buxom, their male counterparts not as pretty but just as randy. Anyone who sees this movie will remember the party scene in which special guest Count Dracula himself (Ferdy Mayne) flies in by chopper to anoint the organisers and generally lend a certain prestige to the vampires' bash. It's an hilarious ode to the era of free love - here among the vampire fraternity - and is without doubt the film's crowning glory. Watching the voracious vampires make a mad dash for their coffins before the sun rises is also a comic highlight.

Controversial Swedish actress Pia Degermark is alluring and does a reasonable job in a dual role of contrasting characters, while Hunter (one of the few English speaking actors in the picture) exercises some comedic talent as he romances both the lady and the vamp. Quirky, sexy and irreverent romp is obscure, worthy of cult status and should be viewed accordingly.

Have a taste for blood… well let me throw in a side tray of goofy humour and seedy sexual activity. The (post-hippie stage) early 70s "The Vampire Happening" is a playfully sexy low-budget German produced horror spoof that sinks its teeth into the vampire genre. While not always on the mark with the gags (where sometimes the script didn't throw up enough or just repeated the gimmicks or rowdiness), as the fangs could have use a sharpen, but it remains rather diverting because of the idiotic silliness and free flowing skin.

Hollywood star Betty Williams, but her real name countess Von Robenstein has made her way to her newly inherited castle in Transylvania. Upon checking it out, she decides to stay. Unknowingly to her, Claramonde Catani her great grandmother is kept in a tomb in the castle and happens to be a vampire. They look so alike except for the colour of their hair and that of their nail polish, but Catani constantly switches identities with her granddaughter who confuses her anxious servant Josef and the town's folk.

The robust story is pure ham, digging up every opportunity to poke fun at the vampire conventions and the superstitious framework. The film's closing half focusing on the swinging orgy party filled with vampires and a special guest --- Count Dracula himself (a terrifically amusing mock turn by Ferdy Mayne) takes the icing. It's exploitative in its revealing, if tempting visuals (don't count the cheap, charming make-up) and the clumsy script is constantly cheeky with its innuendos. Pia Degermark is a complete hoot, as she's seductively saucy in her dual roles Williams / Catani. She's a prowess! Yvor Murillo is fitting as the bumbling comic servant Josef and Thomas Hunter is acceptable as William's lover. Director Freddie Francis does a surefooted job, if nothing overly special, but the choice of locations bathe nicely in a Gothic ambiance despite the modern setting. Liked the illustrated opening credits.

"The Vampire Happening" is a West German horror/comedy from 1971 (the German title can roughly be translated as "You Only Get Bitten at Night"). The beautiful Pia Degermark plays a double role as an American actress who inherits a castle in Transylvania and discovers that her grandmother is a vampire who looks just like her, albeit raven-haired, also played by Pia. Some of the inhabitants of a nearby monastery and girl's school join the ranks of the undead and the vampires throw a helluva costume party where Dracula shows up.

The movie combines elements of "Kiss of the Vampire" (1963) and "The Devil's Nightmare" (1971) with the zaniness of "The Fearless Vampire Killers" (1967). It's a fun romp and not supposed to be taken seriously; anyone offended by its irreverence needs to visit the psyche ward.

Ms. Degermark's amazing beauty is a key highlight. Pia was married to the producer at the time and was a promising starlet; she previously won awards at Cannes (Best Actress) and the Golden Globes (Most Promising Female Newcomer). Not that I care about such awards; I just want to establish Pia's blossoming career at the time. Unfortunately, this was her final film -- of only four -- and she divorced the producer a couple years later, falling into anorexia, poverty, fraud and prison in the later 70s. How the mighty have fallen! But, thankfully, I heard she later got her life back on track. In any event, she was in her prime in this movie and does an impressive job in the dual role; in fact, she easily carries the film.

Actually, there are quite a few good-lookin' women on display here, but their portrayal is too one-dimensional. If you're a breast man, though, you'll be ecstatic.

The film was directed by Freddie Francis, an Oscar-winning cinematographer, known for such quality films as "Glory," "Cape Fear" (1991), "The Elephant Man," "The Creeping Flesh" and "Dracula has Risen from the Grave," but also lesser films (to be nice) like the infamous "Trog." I point this out to stress that this is not some amateur production, although you might think it is since it's such an obscure public domain film, featured on numerous cheap DVDs.

"The Vampire Happening" plays out like a satire of Hammer's vampire flicks. As such, there's quite a bit to appreciate here if you're in the mood for a horror sex comedy. The problem is that the story tends to meander.

I found the depiction of the Roman monastery and monks to be interesting. Is this what people think Christianity really is? Dull, sterile men wearing drab robes swearing off sex and marriage, utterly appalled by any depiction of nudity, sex or sexuality? I guess they never seriously examined the Song of Songs in their studies (or much of the rest of the Bible, for that matter). What an absurd and erroneous depiction of Christianity, and I'm not blaming the filmmakers, but rather the idiotic religious spirit and sterile organizations that foster such a depiction.

FINAL WORD: Although "The Vampire Happening" is a Euro-trash horror sex comedy, it's a fun film if you're in the right mode. It amusingly spoofs vampire flicks and features a strong protagonist/antagonist performance by Pia Degermark. On the downside, it's a little overlong and the story isn't fully engaging, not to mention they drop the ball with the women by being ridiculously one-dimensional. Nevertheless, it's more entertaining than Polanski's overrated "The Fearless Vampire Killers."

The film runs 102 minutes and was shot at Castle Kreuzenstein, Austria.

GRADE: C+/B- (5.5/10)