I Never Sang for My Father

as are the performances of Gene Hackman and Melvyn Douglas, who portray an alienated father and son, brought together after the death of Hackman's wife, and as his father is becoming in need of more medical assistance and attention.

Anyone who has taken care of an elderly parent may be heartbroken by the performances in this film, as I was. Melvyn Douglas is at once critical, angry and resentful of his son, yet still hopes for his love, in the end. Gene Hackman is torn, whether to sacrifice his life, and ultimately feel better, having done the "right thing" or to marry his new fiancée.

Estelle Parsons is always affecting, as she advises Hackman to "live his own life- why bother..." Therein lies the dilemma; people have to sort through issues like this everyday- there are no concrete answers. Highly recommended. 9/10

I saw this movie as a very young man with a father who was growing very old. Even then it worried me as it reminded me of my relationship with my own father who had complained that we weren't spending as much time together as in my boyhood. Remembering this film now with three grown sons makes me wonder if they suffer from the same contradictory feelings I had for my father at their ages.

And this is exactly what makes this film great. It essays the human condition in its stark reality.

Quite frankly I wouldn't have seen this film if I didn't know Gene Hackman from his French Connection series. Oh, I knew it would be some kind of very talky drama but just the same I wanted to see how he would do in such a story. He did very well.

If you are curious about the title see my question in the discussion board and the compleat answer by Cassandra.

If you like themes like this see also Death of a Salesman (the version with Frederic March) and Nothing in Common (Tom Hanks).

Gene Hackman plays a former marine who's wife had died not too long ago for cancer. His parents live close by and he visits every so often. Hackman has never really gotten along with his dad, played by Melvyn Douglas, but gets along better with his mother. His mother dies and his sister, played by Estelle Parsons, comes home and we find out that Douglas had banished her several years earlier and she's never come back since. Hackman and Parsons have to decide what to do with dad, which is either hiring a full time nurse or moving him into a nursing home or letting him move in with one of them. Both Gene Hackman and Melvyn Douglas were nominated for best actor but lost out to George C. Scott for Patton. Several people have called this movie very depressing but i don't think it is, but just like what Roger Ebert said, a good movie is never depressing, only bad movies are.

This is the kind of movie that really makes you think about the people that you love. It also makes you think about the fact that time is inevitable, and thorough communication about the things we feel should hold the highest priority over anything else.

Excellent script and the actors are brilliant. Everyone should see this movie!

I can count on this movie to move me, to bring up feelings for me EVERY TIME I see it. Robert Anderson, the writer, nailed it, caught the essence of the difficulty children have relating to their fathers. Melvyn Douglas is outstanding as the father who, when his son (Gene Hackman) comes to visit falls asleep in front of the TV watching inane Westerns and then says to his son, "Gene, Gene are you leaving so soon? We hardly get to spend any time with you..." And the daughter says: "I am grateful to him (her father) because he taught me a very important lesson: This world is cold and lonely and uncaring and if you can't get the love and attention you need from your own father, who can you get it from? Yes, I am grateful to him..." This is powerful stuff. Great writing and acting except for the woman who plays Hackman's future bride. Bad casting there. The rest is superb. If you want to be moved (and some movies SHOULD move you -- that's another reason they're called 'movies,' right?!!), this is it.