George Segal credited as playing...
- Felix: Doris, you're a sexual Disneyland.
- Doris: Hey, Felix, do you want to fool around?
- Felix: No, I do NOT want to fool around.
- Doris: Okay. Do you want a drink of water?
- Felix: Did you ever try reading a book?
- Doris: A book! Oh yeah, yeah, I used to read Playboy all the time until I got mad at them.
- Felix: Why?
- Doris: Well, you know, I posed for these, eh, terrific, eh, playmate of the month thing, you know.
- Felix: Yeah, what happened?
- Doris: They sent them back.
- Felix: I don't write to make money.
- Doris: But, you'd take it if they gave it to ya, wouldn't ya?
- Felix: Yes. But, it would be inconsistent with my aesthetic responsibilities.
- Doris: I understood "with" and "my".
- Doris: What about last night?
- Felix: What ABOUT last night?
- Doris: When we made love. Wasn't that good for you?
- Felix: You've got your terminology confused, Doris. That was not making love.
- Doris: Well, whatever it was it beat the hell out of drying the dishes!
- Felix: What we did was to get a fast thrill.
- Doris: No. One time is a fast thrill. Six times is making love.
- Felix: I'm extremely sorry but I don't know the story to "The Sound Of Music".
- Doris: Oh no, that's terrible.
- Felix: You thought "The Sound Of Music" was terrible?
- Doris: Four times I saw that terrible movie.
- Felix: You must have really hated it.
- Doris: I saw it with my friend Eleanor at the Loew's King now torn down. It was playing continuous, no intermission. Get it?
- Felix: I don't think so.
- Doris: Her bladder burst.
- Felix: They would give me money to write THEIR way. I want to write MY way!
- Doris: Well, I guess they figure it's THEIR money.
- Felix: Yes, I think that's the way they figure.
- Doris: This is a double bed.
- Felix: I know.
- Doris: I always feel so selfish sleeping alone in a double bed, when there are people in China sleeping on the ground.
- Doris: Hey, how come you and Miss Weyderhaus
- [referring to Felix's pianist fiancee]
- Doris: don't mess around?
- Felix: I told you.
- Doris: What? She's very fragile. She's fragile, right?
- Felix: She's worried... she's worried about her hands. She doesn't want to hurt her hands.
- Doris: She could wear boxing gloves.
- Doris: [Felix and Doris are stoned in the bathtub; sound of door closing] Was that a door?
- Felix: That was a door.
- Doris: Did someone come in?
- Felix: Unless one of us went out.
- Doris: [sound of someone calling out] That is a DEFINITE person.
- Felix: Correct.
