John Wayne credited as playing...
Col. Cord McNally
- Cord McNally: Do you think you could sneak up on the fella at the gate?
- Phillips: I could sneak up on a *coyote* if I've a mind to!
- Cord McNally: Did you get that fella at the gate?
- Phillips: He's at *another* gate now, lookin' fer *Saint Peter*!
- Dr. Jones: Mr, UH?
- Cord McNally: Doesn't matter
- Dr. Jones: Well, Mr Doesn't matter we ought to give them one last good yell, they usually yell a lot when I give them a shot of this
- Cord McNally: YOW! That's the real stuff!
- Dr. Jones: Well, if you had been a good enough actor I wouldn't have used it!
- Cord McNally: Cord McNally
- [Phillips is irritating everyone by playing a jaw harp]
- Cord McNally: Dammit, Mr. Phillips! Don't you know any other songs?
- Phillips: I don't know this one. That's why I keep practicin'.
- [McNally and the others open bottles of beer]
- Phillips: Don't I get a beer?
- Cord McNally: Not as long as you're playin' that harp.
- Phillips: I'll put it up!
- [Phillips throws harp in the trash can]
- Phillips: What about Ketcham? He don't get no beer, does he?
- Cord McNally: Oww, take it easy.
- Phillips: Stop your squawking, you ain't hurt.
- Cord McNally: Splatter gun is useless.
- Phillips: You don't mind if I shoot, do you? Makes me feel better.
- Sheriff 'Blue Tom' Hendricks: I should've taken you this morning!
- Cord McNally: You should'a *tried*!
- Cord McNally: Mr. Phillips; you watch Ketcham while we go inside.
- Phillips: Sure thing, Colonel. If you hear a loud noise, it'll be Mr. Ketcham dyin'.
- Shasta: [after McNaly slugs a bad guy from behind] Well you certainly *took* long enough! I was running out of things to *say*!
- Cord McNally: *That*, I *can't* believe!
- Cord McNally: Whitey's *dead*.
- Phillips: [delighted] *That's* the best news I heared all *year*! Who killed 'im?
- Cord McNally: [referring to Shasta] *She* did!
- Phillips: [amazed] Well, I'll be a suck-egg mule-! Legs like *that*, and she can *shoot*, too!
- Cord McNally: I'm Cord McNally. Didn't Tuscarora tell you about me?
- Phillips: Cord McNally? Yeah, he sure did! And I ain't gonna *repeat* what he said!
- [Col. McNally visits with Capt. Cordona and Sgt. Phillips after the war ends]
- Cord McNally: I'm glad *you two* weathered the storm.
- Cordona: Well, it's a simple life- No wine, no women, no song.
- Sgt. Tuscarora Phillips: And no *whiskey*!
- Cord McNally: Well, *I* can remedy *that*; If you two don't mind drinkin' with a "Bluebelly".
- Sgt. Tuscarora Phillips: Colonel Suh, I'd drink with *The Devil Himself*!
- Cordona: *I* feel just like *he* does!
- Cord McNally: [smiles] We're *headed* in the right direction!
- [Shasta wakes up in Cordona's bed after fainting]
- Shasta: What am I doing here?
- Cord McNally: Well, you fainted after you shot Whitey, so we put you to bed.
- Shasta: Wait a minute! Where are my clothes? Which one of you took my clothes?
- Cordona: I did.
- Shasta: Why?
- Cordona: Well, we flipped a coin and I won!
- Shasta: Where are your pants.
- Cordona: You're sleeping on them.