Torture Dungeon

It almost seems inconceivable in this day and age that someone would attempt the pomp and pageantry of a ye Olde England costume gore epic on a budget LESS than a cross-town ferry ride. And yet Torture Dungeon, the first film for producer William Mishkin's newly crowned Constitution Films, is filmic proof that Andy Milligan's audacity knew no bounds. Cue credits, the music - straight from a 40s Gary Cooper western - swells, and a procession of medieval misfits make their way down a deserted Staten Island beach, looking for all the world like a lost borstal passion play, carrying the coffin of the newly-dead king, beheaded in the film's opening by the prissy yet evil Duke of Norwich (`Jerremy Brooks'/Gerry Jacuzzo). The Duke, last in line to the throne and sterile to boot, hatches a plan to marry off the new king, who would plant the royal seed in the Queen's fertile soil. Once plowed, the Queen becomes the unwilling property of the Duke, and the remaining heirs are dispatched to their untimely deaths.

Hal Borske plays the new king strictly for cheap laughs: he's a bumbling half-wit in a blonde pageboy frightwig who eats bugs on all fours and shows more interest in nailing his plate of chicken than his new queen. His on-screen presence is cut short soon after the `conception' scene, and he gets the obligatory stake to the heart. Blood erupts like tomato soup, exit Hal. And in every one of the death scenes from Torture Dungeon, Andy's camera careers around and plummets to the ground as if it was dropped from a Staten Island ferris wheel. There's even a script direction for this: `Swirl Camera'. Now stick that one in the text books.

Unlike The Ghastly Ones, where the gore comes thick and fast, Torture Dungeon spaces its bloodshed, which leaves wide open spaces in the script for Andy's manic exposition. One scene plays like a psychedelic sex hygiene film of the 50s and features a crazed old harridan (a member of Andy's theatrical troupe?) preparing the new queen for her wifely duties while floating around the room on PCP. The Sadean Duke endlessly waxes lyrical about his personal philosophy, declaring himself `not a heterosexual, not homosexual, not asexual - I'm trisexual. I'll TRY anything.' An old chestnut, I know, but from the mouths of Milligan's characters it takes on a new sinister tone. In another memorable scene the depraved duke is caught in bed with a hunchback, unloved and beaten as a child and corrupted by the uncaring world and now the Duke's assassin and willing love slave. So, he says to his wife with a perverse sneer - ever heard of a menage a trois?

With the exception of the garish costumes (an area Andy always excelled at), the production is threadbare at every turn. The torture chamber itself looks like my Brisbane city basement, for chrissakes, and the effect of the evil Duke swinging a chain sounds suspiciously like Andy on a microphone going `Whoosh! Whoosh!' Voices veer wildly from the fruity and over-theatrical Jacuzzo to the flat Noo York drawl from the mouths of some suitably plague-scarred bookies and old Mafia types in Beatles wigs, uttering lines like `the dook of Nor-witch' with deadpan conviction. Local color, but wrong locality. And I think I spotted a Ramone or two in the funeral procession.

Bargain Basement Maniac Director ANDY MILLIGAN was famous for making homemade 16mm films from scratch. He wrote, directed, photographed, edited, lit, set designed, and even sewed every costume himself for all his films... TORTURE DUNGEON (1970) is one of them. To say they are the product of a deranged mind is an understatement (especially if you were lucky enough to read his biography, as I was) His movies were like high school plays (if it was a high school in another universe of lunacy) The characters are all different levels of perverts, depraved mental patients, imbeciles, and creeps. It's amazing to watch this amateur cast of new york actors (some are just actors-in-training) put together this historical nonsense on pennies for budget. Milligan directs with total seriousness making it even funnier. The sets are inside Milligan's own Long Island house covered with material and drapes everywhere. Outside scenes are around a backyard muddy pond where a few nude "actors" probably caught ringworm from being forced by Milligan to wade in it. The story is incomprehensible and continuity non-existent BUT you just keep watching to see what Milligan will dream up for next scene. Like when the Duke gets his servant hunchback to join him and the princess in bed for a freak threesome.. Or when the slobbering half-wit royal brother is led step by step to impregnate his new bride. A few old pros like the actress playing the old one-eyed mom is as campy as a crazed Shakespearean Performer and Hal Borske as the half wit is really funny. A real time capsule movie and if you can get through it with the right frame of mind.. Can be alot of fun 👍

Supposedly inspired by "Tower of London", cult filmmaker Andy Milligan co-wrote and directed this insipid "British" period piece set in medieval times when the power-crazed Duke of Norwich (Gerald Jacuzzo) will murder anybody standing in his way. One such obstacle is the beautiful young Heather MacGregor (Susan Cassidy), who needs to bear a child who will inherit the throne.

Even knowing what to expect from Milligan - namely, bargain-basement gore, his own ridiculous costumes, and extremely tacky acting - it takes a special kind of patience to sit through "Torture Dungeon". The gore actually isn't *that* plentiful, and in fact the film spends precious little time in the title location. (Still, I have to give some credit to any film that begins with a decapitation.) Overall, the film wastes too much time with talk until it gets to what could possibly be considered the highlights.

Jacuzzo does border on competent with his amusing portrayal of the slimy antagonist, there is a fair amount of nudity both female and male, and Hal Borske is hilarious fulfilling similar duties to those he performed in Milligans' "The Ghastly Ones". He plays Albert, a grass and bug-munching half-wit who needs to be instructed on how to have sex with Heather.

Even with the films' faults, it's hard to completely knock any story that includes a pitchfork impalement, a one-eyed witch (Maggie Rogers), and an attempted threesome with a serving girl (Patricia Garvey) and a homosexual hunchback (Richard Mason), among other things.

Four out of 10.

Power hungry sexual deviant Norman, Duke of Norwich (Gerald Jacuzzo), plots to become king of England by killing those ahead of him in line for the throne.

In my experience, Andy Milligan's movies are, without exception, virtually unwatchable z-grade garbage, but I can't help but feel a little admiration for the director, who soldiered on despite the fact that his ambition clearly exceeded his talent and budget. Take Torture Dungeon for example, a period piece set in medieval England, when knights were bold and maidens fair, and no-one with a moustache could be trusted: that's not an easy undertaking for an amateur Staten Island-based film-maker with minimal resources.

Rather unsurprisingly, Milligan fails spectacularly on almost every level. The costumes are cheap, the location work is terrible (in one scene set on a beach we can see a power boat on the water and a woman holding a handbag wanders into view, while another scene takes place in a greenhouse), the gore effects are risible, the dialogue is stilted, and the cast cannot disguise their Noo Yoik roots (Norwich is pronounced Nor-witch). Unfortunately, as is often the case with Milligan's work, the result isn't a hugely entertaining crapfest, but rather a crushing monotonous bore, the wooden performances and dreadful pace resulting in extreme tedium.

2/10 for the frequent nudity (mostly from Susan Cassidy in an ill-fitting red dress) and the laughable attempts at splatter (a really crap beheading, some deaths by pitchfork, and assorted stabbings).

To many people Andy Milligan is the worst thing that ever happened to motion pictures. Some people say he makes Edward D. Wood Jr look like Orson Welles by comparison. To me though, Andy was a friend and a teacher. I met him quite by accident in the mid 1980's after being exposed to some of his movies at a rundown cinema in the toughest part of town. We became fast friends and I would listen for hours to him describe how he stretched a budget dollar to lengths even Roger Corman would envy. He described how he shot TORTURE DUNGEON with one camera and how he edited every scene in the camera by having one character do his or her dialogue and then switch the camera to do the other person reacting and back to the first person and so on. He remarked how hard it was to get some of the actors (I use the term very loosely) to stay in character while he constantly shifted the camera setup. Andy never used a light meter, recorded all sound "live" and seldom did more than 2 takes of any scene. Okay yes, his movies are poorly acted, badly paced, overly talky, and the makeup and effects are . . .well you get the idea. The point is Andy Milligan took the time to befriend me when I was still an aspiring film-maker and taught me how HE did things to save time and money.

Andy I miss you, and I enjoy watching your movies despite their shortcomings. Thanks pal.