Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came

For some reason, the town next to an Army base REALLY hates the military and they are mighty unfriendly. Now, you might think it's because the soldiers are ill-behaved jerks, which is occasionally the case, but the core of the problem seems to be that the sheriff and local government just hate the guys...and you can't help but think that sooner or later this is all going to come to a head After all, again and again, the sheriff keeps rousting the soldiers and a few of them (Tony Curtis) are hot-heads and likely to take the bait. But what two sergeants end up doing...well, that certainly IS memorable...and reminiscent of the James Garner film, "Tank".

I think this film is okay....just okay. Had they emphasized comedy or drama exclusively, I think it would have worked better.

As a 20 year Military veteran, I was attracted to the intriguing question that is the title of this movie. Deciding whether or not to watch it becomes a no-brainer when you see the list of names that make up the ensemble of the cast: Ernie Borgnine, Ivan Dixon, Don Ameche, Art O'Connell and the great John Fiedler are all solid actors and have appeared in some of the best films in the history of American cinema. (check out their collective credits if you doubt it.)

This film is an underrated one in the canon of films dealing with the U. S. Military. The script, although not perfect, is well written, with subtle and witty commentary on the military hierarchy, prevailing social attitudes, and the precarious relationship between our Vietnam-era military and the civilian community (i.e. "community relations"). No heavy military rigidness here; the flow is free and easy as in 'Catch-22' to provide a frame of reference. Or, as Stephen Sondheim wrote around the same period in "Anyone Can Whistle," the 'laugh at the Kings, or they'll make you cry' approach.

As would be expected, Brian Keith is solid, but surprisingly even Tony Curtis manages to turn in a relatively piped-down performance from his usual fare which, to quote America's best known homemaker Martha Stewart, 'is a good thing.'

I saw this film in 1970 as a sneak preview at the Shores Theater in Miami Shores, Florida. My dad had been an infantry sergeant and was awarded a Silver Star Medal in World War II. He liked the film only because it had some of the actors he liked, Tony Curtis and Brian Keith among others. We both agreed the movie couldn't figure out what it wanted to be, a comedy or a serious film. We assumed it was not only an anti-war film, but an anti everything film. Most of the main characters were far from likeable and it seemed everyone was angry, embittered, sarcastic, anti social and bigoted. Only interesting if you're a big enough fan of the cast, not much else.

Most of this movie was shot at Fort Huachuca, AZ and Tuscon. I was in the parade scene. It took almost 4 hours to film. When the movie was released, the parade (itself) was cut to 20 seconds of film time. Tony Curtis was wasted on this film. It reminded me of his role in the movie "Operation Petticoat". If this movie came today, it would swiftly be sent to a streaming channel.

"Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came" (1970) is a comedy/drama that details events in remote southern Arizona when militarists at an Army base (Tony Curtis, Brian Keith, Bradford Dillman & Ivan Dixon) conflict with the authorities of the nearby town (e.g. Earnest Borgnine) eventually leading to all hell breaking loose when a couple of disenchanted soldiers steal a tank.

This is a dialogue-driven dramedy stuffed with understated witticisms hidden within the verbiage; so I suggest using the subtitles to catch 'em all. The highlight is the great cast, but curvy cutie Suzanne Pleshette isn't used enough. An additional attraction is that this is a great way to go back in time and observe American society in 1969 (when the film was shot).

The producers were shooting for the tone of the contemporaneous "Kelly's Heroes" transplanted to late 60's America. Unfortunately, the script needed a rewrite to flesh out more entertaining prospects. It's a flat viewing experience as is. Eastwood's "Heartbreak Ridge" took elements of it and made a better flick. Not that "Heartbreak" is great or anything, but it's superior to this.

The film runs 1 hour, 53 minutes and was shot at Fort Huachuca, Arizona, with some scenes done at Warner Brothers Studios, S. Cal. Don Amech and John Fiedler also appear.

GRADE: C