Connie Booth credited as playing...
Bluenose • Voice of Self-Defence Nun • Best Girl
- Bevis: I didn't want to do this, you know. I wanted to be a lumberjack!
- Mr. Praline: Yes, this is irrelevant.
- Bevis: Yes! A lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The smell of fresh cut timber! The giant redwood! The larch! The fir! The mighty Scots pine! With my best girlie by my side, we'd sing... sing... sing!
- [sings]
- Bevis: I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK/I sleep all night and I work all day.
- Mounties Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK/He sleeps all night and he works all day.
- Bevis: I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory/On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.
- Mounties Chorus: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory/On Wednesdays he goes shopping and has buttered scones for tea./He's a lumberjack and he's OK/He sleeps all night and he works all day.
- Bevis: I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers/I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.
- Mounties Chorus: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press widlflowers.
- [uneasily]
- Mounties Chorus: He puts on... women's... clothing? And hangs around... in... bars?
- [bright as ever]
- Mounties Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK/He sleeps all night and he works all day.
- Bevis: I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra/I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.
- Mounties Chorus: He cuts down trees, he wears... high... heels? Suspenders? And a... bra? Ugghhh...
- [they storm off]
- Bevis: I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!
- Best Girl: Oh, Bevis! And I though you were so butch!