Harry Morgan credited as playing...
E.J. Crampton
- News Broadcaster: We interrupt to bring you a special newscast of a sensational suicide try on Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles.
- Mrs. Crampton: Oh, isn't it sad how many nuts are running around loose today?
- E. J. Crampton: It certainly is, sweetheart.
- News Broadcaster: Our special UBC helicopter enables us to bring you an exclusive close-up view of the pair attempting suicide. These pictures, live from the scene.
- E. J. Crampton: There you are. Another first for UBC.
- [a closeup from the news helicopter reveals the stranded Wilbanks and Mertons]
- E. J. Crampton: [Stands up] Oh, no!
- Francis X. Wilbanks: Oh, I'm ruined. I'm ruined! What's Crampton gonna say?
- [Cuts to Crampton getting dressed while cursing Wilbanks loudly to himself]
- E. J. Crampton: You lame brain. You thick-skulled, pin-headed, dim-witted bumbler!