Catch Me a Spy

: Kirk Douglas is wandering around the diplomatic parties looking for something. As spies are arrested -- including Marlène Jobert's husband, Patrick Mower -- Douglas approaches the lady and asks her how much she wants for 'the goods'. Soon, they are captured by Soviet agents and fleeing.

This is a comedy starring Kirk Douglas. Director Dick Clement said

Kirk Douglas requested a meeting before filming started. "Being an American, Douglas got straight to the point. He said I can't play comedy. And do you know what - he couldn't.".

I confirm that. Douglas was a fine dramatic actor, but his few attempts at comedy are astonishingly dull. As is this movie, which steals heavily. In one sequence clearly lifted from The 39 Steps, Douglas and MlleJobert are fleeing from the bad guys and hole up at an abandoned hotel in Scotland, where they fall in love. Douglas is not in the least entertaining.

As is the rest of this movie. Trevor Howard, who could play comedy, has a rant about homosexuals. It all ends in a chase which is frantic, rather than funny.

There is some lovely location shooting by DP Christopher Challis. But if you're looking for a comedy, look elsewhere.

A woman's husband is kidnapped on her honeymoon and accused of spying by Soviet officials. After the first swap for a Soviet agent falls through, the bride goes in search of another spy to swap for her groom.

What do you think of a spy movie starring Kirk Douglas? With other roles filled by the likes of Trevor Howard, Tom Courtenay, Richard Pearson and Jonathan Cecil?

Think again.

"Catch Me a Spy" isn't so much bad as simply slipshod and clumsy. And it looks like it had a budget of five pounds; ten pounds, tops.

Okay, that's an exaggeration. But it's not a pretty sight.

For curiosity seekers only.

You wouldn't guess from this film that the writers were amongst the most talented in the UK.Also come to it what is Kirk Douglas doing.Was he that desperate for work.Robert comes across best though it is not much of a contest.Avoid this.

An amusing and adventurous espionage caper from the early-'70s. I like some of the imagery - the scenes filmed at Loch Leven, Perth & Kinross and Oban (?) are evocative and show the bleak beauty of Scotland. The adventure film ''Kidnapped'' was filmed nearby at roughly the same time at Stirling and Loch Fyne faeturing cockney actor Michael Caine. Those years '71-72 had a strangely ''Caledonian-ish'' feel. Auburn-haired, steely-eyed, lantern-jawed US actor, Kirk Douglas as ''Andrej'' a Rumanian spy is very good and is adept at comedy. He had recently been in the compelling adventure film ''The Light at the Edge of the World'' which was produced in Spain in the autumn of 1970. Some of the comedy scenes have a Python-esque sense of slapstick. Patrick Mower (''Emmerdale Farm'') is good. The writers, Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais are famous for brilliant '70s tv comedies ''Porridge'' and ''Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads''. Gaunt, darkhaired Swiss-born White-Russian actor Sascha Pitoeff is very good too.

When the Citadel Film Series book The Films Of Kirk Douglas was first issued, To Catch A Spy had been released in Europe, but not in America. It seems to have had very limited showings on this side of the pond.

The film is a lightweight spoof of the Cold War with Marlene Joubet a French girl married to a British subject trying desperately hard to get her husband back who has been arrested for espionage. Turns out he's made a deal with the Soviets and was deliberately arrested so they could affect a prisoner exchange. When the original exchange doesn't work out due to the most hilarious sequence in the film, Joubet looks to affect her own exchange and settles on Kirk Douglas, a most mysterious Romanian who keeps showing up all the time. She has to because her uncle, a member of Parliament played by Trevor Howard can't seem to close the deal.

Some nice location shooting in several spots in Europe is the best thing this film. The players look truly bored with this project and just phone in the performances.

To Catch A Spy will never make anyone's top 10 list of best Kirk Douglas films.