Madame Sin

Ever wonder what Fu Manchu would look like if Christopher Lee looked just like Bette Davis?

Stop wondering, here's the answer. Ms. Davis plays the evil Madam Sin, an oriental villainess who is plotting world conquest from her Scottish castle, fully equipped with laboratory, sonic weapons, hypnotic drugs, etc.

She abducts Robert Wagner, an ex-CIA man whom she frames as a defector. Then she dupes him into helping her kidnap a naval officer and steal a nuclear submarine. European audiences paid to see this pilot for an unsold TV series.

My DVD describes Madame Sin as 'a prime example of the camp spy genre'; how misleading! Yes, there are some crazy futuristic inventions used by the baddies to achieve their nefarious goal, but the film as a whole is actually rather sober affair, especially considering the impact of the unexpectedly bleak ending.

Bette Davis plays the titular character, a criminal mastermind who lives on a remote Scottish island from where she conducts her wicked money-making schemes. Robert Wagner is ex-CIA agent Anthony Lawrence, who is abducted by Sin's henchmen and used as a pawn to assist in the stealing of a Polaris submarine, which the villainess intends to sell to revolutionaries.

Rather than a garish, cheezy romp full of outrageous set pieces and witty one-liners from the hero, writer/director David Greene plays much of the film surprisingly straight, even going so far as to add an avant-garde vibe to early scenes, taking the film firmly out of the realm of Matt Helm or James Bond. A bizarre electronic score only adds to the off-beat atmosphere.

Depicted as such, the film sometimes feels frustratingly dreary and uneventful: one longs for an exotic location, a desperate shootout or an exciting car chase to alleviate the tedium that occasionally sets in as Lawrence tries to thwart Sin's plans.

I know very little about Director David Greene, who did mostly TV work and appears to have been no relation of Graham Greene's, the British writer. That much is clear from the campy script that David and Oringer hammered together with some self-deprecating humor, especially in the shape of eyelid-painted Bette Davis as MADAME SIN, the sinister lady who carries out all manner of experiments on the unfortunate souls who get caught in the waves of her sonar-sounding waves that basically turn the brain into jelly, and pliable to her despicable whims.

Of course, the fact that she wants a British Polaris submarine, apparently to make a fortune out of it, is preposterous, Even harder to believe is Robert Wagner as some top spy/agent who keeps getting hit by the sonar, to the point of going deaf, which has laughable consequences as he tries to enlighten the British military on the foul plays by the evil MADAME SIN.

Cinematography is just OK, editing not that great. The best thing about this TV flick is Denholm Eliott as the Madame's evil sidekick, looking prim and proper, constantly adjusting his tie. His initial encounter with Wagner, with two Catholic nuns on hand, provides the film's most memorable segment. The other good bit is the end, with MADAME asking when the lease on Buckingham Palace, or Windsor Castle or whatever that royable abode is, will be up because she wants to take it over.

Also interesting to see Burt Kwouk, of Cato Fong fame in the Pink Panther franchise as Inspector Clouseau's sparring manservant, as the wordless hand-scarred man who remains shadowy until close to the end.

Not bad fun, but having just rewatched it all I remember are the beginning and end. 6/10.

Bette davis was already 64, and would do "nile" six years after this! She's madam sin, who kidnaps lawrence (wagner, between thief and hart to hart). He's a retired agent, whose help they want in stealing a new model submarine. Step one is to kidnap and brainwash the sub's captain. Lots of cheap and cheesy sound effects, which quickly get tiresome. Some fun co-stars. Denholm elliott, who we all know as coleman, from trading places. And catherine schell, who played some HUGE roles before and after this. Take a moment and check out the parts she played in very well known films and series. It's campy and silly, but good. Kind of a james bond knock off film, with davis as the evil villain. Bette davis plays herself, as she always does, with her stilted speech. Directed by david greene, who had also directed godspell and roots.

Although by 1972 the "Secret-Agent" Fad was about Ready to Fade, but a Few Stragglers were Offered Die-Hard "Bond" Fans, even though They Had Run the Gamut on the Big and Little Screen, with the Likes of...

"Our Man Flint", "Matt Helm", "Secret Agent Man", "The Man From U. N. C. L. E", "The Avengers", The Girl From U. N. C. L. E., "Get Smart", "The Prisoner", and Others.

This is Wildly Watchable as Bette Davis is Out to Conquer the World and Fry a Few Brains On the Way, with Agent Robert Wagner Trying to Keep His Head on "Straight".

It's a Lively Affair with Lurid Mad-Labs Full of Brain-Probing Experiments and Sonic Weapons with an Electronic Soundtrack Underneath and a Surprisingly Down-Beat Ending.

It Manages to Retain just the Right Amount of the Overtones of a Cracker-Jack, World-Domination Espionage Flick, Sprinkled with the Absurd that Keeps thing Frisky.

If Failing to Snatch a "Polaris Sub" Doesn't Work Out, Next on Her "Bucket-List" is "Buckingham Palace" and The Crown Jewels".

That could have Filled "Season One", but No One was Buying at this Late Date and the "Spy" Genre Continued to Fade Into "Yesterday's News"

But this is Produced Snazzy Enough and with Davis, Walker, a Good Supporting Cast, some Psychedelica, and Groovy Sounds, it was a Good Try, and...

Worth a Watch.