The Return of Count Yorga

As far as I can tell, Count Yorga was created to cash in on the then-popular monster frenzy created by DARK SHADOWS. In fact, the actor who plays Count Yorga must think he's in an episode of DARK SHADOWS, delivering his lines with pompous seriousness("I have the power to destroy you (dramatic pause)or let you go," he tells a petrified Mariette Hartley)There isn't much of a plot here: Count Yorga terrorized the faculty and students of a school for hearing impaired children, including teacher Hartley, whom Count Yorga has a yen for. Plots holes are covered by lots of early seventies-era quick cuts and camera angles, which serve more to make the narrative flow unintelligible. As bad as that is, the real horror is seeing Yorga's coterie of female vampires, as low-rent a bunch as you'll come across(which is saying something, since AIP, ultimate purveyors of the quickie horror film, put this out). With their dime store lingerie, plastic Halloween vampire fangs, and hideously teased hair, you fully believe the victims they chase aren't have as much concerned with becoming unwilling members of the undead as they are being seen in the company of these fashion disasters. Flicks like this make me mourn the demise of Mystery Science Theater 3000. So many bad movies like this left to diss, so little time . . .

This film, while solid for the most part, reminds me of a scene from "Columbo", where one character says to the detective "an exciting meal has been ruined!". That's the way I felt about this film, and they say a poor ending can hurt a film, and I must agree here. While this may seem like a negative review, there's things that I did like, such as Robert Quarry's performance, and the creepy mansion in which he resides, with a bunch of slick dark rooms, and skinny stairs. Look for some familiar faces in a very young Craig T. Nelson, Mariette Hartley, Michael Pataki, and Rudy De Luca. On the other hand, there's Philip Frame, who plays Tommy, and he may be the worst actor I've ever seen, and I'm not surprised that he only has 1 more acting credit after this film. That kid also deserved that good smack, the little jerk. One of the most disappointing aspects for me is that Tommy doesn't get his just desserts he richly deserved, but that's all I'll spoil for you. There's more good scenes than bad scenes, but the bad ones almost defy vampire logic, and really hurt the film for me.

Robert Quarry returns as Count Yorga, brought back to life by the Santa Ana winds after having been killed at the end of the prior film. Yorga then begins to prey on the residents of a nearby orphanage and seems to lavish particular attention on a young teacher at the orphanage, Mariette Hartley. As with the first film, it's rather low budget, but makes up for it in enthusiasm and gore. This sequel gave more screen time to the Vampire Brides of Yorga, which was kind fun and provided some good creepy visuals, but overall this is an awfully silly film. Producer Michael Macready's father, Hollywood veteran George Macready made his final film appearance here as Prof. Rightstat and a young Craig T. Nelson made his film debut on this picture playing a cop. And not that you would notice it, the director of photography on this film was Bill butler, who's later go on to film "Jaws" and several "Rocky" pictures.

1971's "The Return of Count Yorga" boasts the same team responsible for "Count Yorga, Vampire," star Robert Quarry reprising his role as the Bulgarian count, again produced by Michael Macready and directed by Bob Kelljan. The ambitious script is a collaboration between Kelljan and then-wife Yvonne Wilder, casting herself as a mute character speaking through sign language, the setting changed from Los Angeles to San Francisco, an even more sprawling estate near the Westwood Orphanage run by Reverend Thomas (Tom Toner). The boy Tommy (Philip Frame) encounters the revived Yorga in a rundown cemetery where his vampire brides emerge from their graves, becoming the catalyst for every targeted attack. The Count is introduced at a masquerade party for the orphanage, where he first puts the bite on a singer before meeting Cynthia Nelson (Mariette Hartley), her fiancee, Dr. David Baldwin (Roger Perry, back as a new character), and sisters Ellen (Karen Houston) and mute Jennifer (Yvonne Wilder). The Nelson family find it difficult to sleep with little Tommy staying over at their home, a sudden attack by Yorga's vampire brood resulting in both parents dead, Cynthia kidnapped, and Ellen joining the undead ranks, poor Jennifer discovering the carnage in the morning. Lt. Madden (Rudy De Luca) and Sgt. O'Connor (Craig T. Nelson) arrive to investigate, only to find the premises spotless and no bodies around, a note for Jennifer left behind claiming that her parents had to leave suddenly to visit relatives. Cynthia is unmoved by Yorga's romantic overtures, a helpless prisoner of the labyrinthine confines of the count's estate, where the corpses of her mother and father are buried in a pool of quicksand. Jennifer's repeated warnings and Tommy's denials lead to several more disappearances, until Baldwin, Madden, and O'Connor decide to search for Cynthia at Yorga's home, the Reverend offering them cover with a plea for financial assistance. The climactic formula is intact, the stakes raised by the presence of two bewildered cops who find themselves trapped with no escape: "what are we running for?" "cause we're scared!" Robert Quarry is slightly less effective in creating sympathy for his lonely existence, much like Barnabas Collins on DARK SHADOWS, but still admirably deceptive and ferocious in his bloodlust. Tommy is truly a creepy little monster, prevented from bashing in a fellow orphan's skull but soon graduating to using a knife to carry out his misdeeds. Rudy De Luca and Craig T. Nelson both make their film debuts as the hapless cops, teamed again after comic experience on one of Tim Conway's variety shows, the former best known for many collaborations with Mel Brooks, the latter for his starring role on COACH. De Luca gets the best line when advised on how to use two sticks as a crucifix: "no playin' hero, and the first one to find the vampire screams his ass off!"

The Count is back, without any apparent explanation of how he survived the events of the first film. But who cares, eh? All that matters is that, mere minutes into "The Return of Count Yorga," vampire women emerge from their graves to stalk a poor little boy. The action starts quick in this one, folks! It's a bit scary…it's a bit erotic…and it's even a bit good.

In fact, "Return of Count Yorga" is almost good enough to eclipse its predecessor, but the middle act unfortunately sags and the conclusion feels too much like a retread. Still, there is plenty of great material here, including a harrowing attack segment on a house full of people and a memorable final chase through the narrow corridors of Yorga's mansion. Quarry is again smooth and super-cool as the Count; I love the way he effortlessly mingles with, and insults, the stupid townspeople at their costume party.

The film takes a stab at philosophy by allowing Yorga to have a "romance" with Cynthia (played by the lovely Mariette Hartley – what a nice voice she has), but this storyline basically reaches a dead end. They have one interesting conversation about their world views over punch at the party, and that's it. The notion of a vampire in love was explored more deeply (and more to my satisfaction) in "Subspecies II," one of my favorite horror movies of recent times.

Nevertheless, "Return of Count Yorga" should be applauded for being experimental, as this kind of movie goes. In many respects, it's a more thoughtful and engaging film than the first Yorga, but it's also more uneven. Anyway, fans of classic movies/actors should watch out for George Sanders in a cameo role as a loopy vampire expert who expounds upon the inherent difficulties of assuming yoga positions. Like the movie as a whole, Sanders' lone scene is very strange, but certainly worth seeing.