John David Carson credited as playing...
Ponce
- Michael 'Tiger' McDrew: There's nothing - physical, then. That's good.
- Ponce: Perhaps there's one physical I should have mentioned. I have kind of a problem with, eh, you know, erections.
- Michael 'Tiger' McDrew: Is the problem - constant, Ponce, or, does it vary?
- Ponce: Oh, it's pretty constant.
- Michael 'Tiger' McDrew: Well, I mean, does anything - seem to help?
- Ponce: Well, yes sir. They don't seem to happen as often if I take cold showers. When I'm with a girl, the only thing that helps is to do multiplication problems in my head, but, that kind of interferes with conversations.
- Michael 'Tiger' McDrew: Love life problems, huh?
- Ponce: What love life? I'm 17 years old and I haven't even as so much touched a girl's breast yet.
- Michael 'Tiger' McDrew: Well, maybe you haven't found the right girl.
- Ponce: I leaned my hand on her bottom, like I said. Do you think I'd do anything else to a dead girl? I haven't even had a live one yet.
- Miss Smith: Ponce, dear, I happen to know - that you're struggling with a sexual problem. Is that it?
- Ponce: Yes, ma'am.
- Miss Smith: Well, I'm going to be equally honest with you. The reason I invited you here - was to help you.
- Ponce: Oh, you must be putting me on, Miss Smith.
- Miss Smith: Come.
- Miss Smith: [reading from John Milton's "Paradise Lost"] "I fled, but he pursued-though more, it seems, Inflamed with lust than rage-and, swifter far, Me overtook, his mother, all dismayed, And, in embraces forcible and foul, Ingendering with me, of that rape begot, These yelling monsters, that with ceaseless cry, Surround me, as thou sawest, hourly conceived, And hourly born, with sorrow infinite, To me; for, when they list, into the womb, That bred them they return, and howl and gnaw, My bowels, their repast." Isn't this exciting!
- Ponce: [staring at Miss Smith's breasts] Oh, yeeessss.
- Michael 'Tiger' McDrew: You mean, if a woman compliments you on your erection?
- Ponce: Well, that should mean she kinda likes you, right?
- Michael 'Tiger' McDrew: Yes. It does sound like a warm friendship developing.
- Miss Smith: I know I can't sleep now. Maybe if we danced until I became exhausted, then I could.
- Ponce: Yes, ma'am. I mean, it's probably a lot better than taking sleeping pills.
- Ponce: [laying nude together on Miss Smith's bed] "O brave new world, that has such people in it!" Shakespeare! "The Tempest,"
- Miss Smith: Do you know how many stars there are in our galaxy?
- Ponce: No. I can't say that I do.
- Miss Smith: A hundred billion. Do you know how many men lived since the beginning of time?
- Ponce: A trillion?
- Miss Smith: About one hundred billion. That means there's one star for every man that ever lived.
- Ponce: [caressing Miss Smith's naked behind] Far out.
- [gets on top of Miss Smith as she giggles]
- Miss Smith: You're going to be late for school!
- Ponce: So are you.