The Telephone Book

Who is John Smith? why....every man's deepest fantasy of course. As he utters at one point and which sums up this incredibly original and black-humored ode to left wing sexuality..."I have perfected the obscene call to the point where I could seduce the President, his wife and his family - but I have no political ambition!"

Poor old Alice, cute little Goldie Hawn wannabe and who is a couple of bra-sizes short of average intelligence, she decides to answer her telephone! Big mistake - it is the world's most experienced serially-obscene phone caller. Does she care? No, she falls in love with him. She must embark now on the ultimate sexual odyssey to discover the joys of true spoken obscenity.

This film is unlike anything else ever made - as original as ERASERHEAD, as meaningless as an Osmond Brothers album. You have to see it...if for no other reason to witness Barry Morse's cameo to end all cameos. They surely COULDN'T have paid him to do it...he MUST have paid them!

I have had this film for twenty years and STILL haven't let my kids see it! I think mine is the only copy in Australia, if not the southern hemisphere. A deep deep underground film that could NEVER have found theatrical release I imagine.

A film that I think aims to get the audience into a state of sexual ecstasy. There's no point to the plot nor is there a message. It's all about sexual fantasies. Nobody in the picture actually has sex, they just talk dirty and that's how they get off. Even when the young Goldie Hawn look-a-like main character meets her obscene caller he never takes off his pig mask and all he does is TALK sex. At many points when the sexual tension is at its height the movie cuts away to people talking into the camera about their habit of doing obscene phone calls or putting bananas into their vagina and so on, so I think it wants to play with the audience. The last 10 minutes it is piling it up, though. It gets louder and faster by the minute, and more animated. The movie certainly had an orgasm.

It's a very smudgy comedy, but barely funny. Kinda like a Russ Meyer picture but more experimental. There was an interesting moment at the theater. A guy on screen talks about his previous obsession of making dirty phone calls and it becomes more and more absurd but not particularly funny. Then the guy right next to me starts laughing out loud, and I mean really loud. He can't stop himself and goes "HA!" every few seconds. Gradually more and more people throughout the whole theater start laughing more or less because of what was on screen but they most certainly wouldn't have laughed if this guy hadn't started. When the next scene began it was all quiet again. There was close to no laughter throughout the rest of the picture.

Funny, near brilliant, underground movie about the sexual perversions of everyday people. Centers around Kennedy (who is a shoe in for a young Goldie Hawn) and her various experiences trying to find John Smith the greatest obscene phone caller she's ever heard. Problem is it's New York City, which leads her to a lot of wrong Smiths. The 'real' John Smith is played by actor Norman Rose who's deep resonate, 'newsman' voice (he's worked as a narrator on many other features) only adds to the hilarity as he explains in great detail how he came to be the 'greatest obscene phone caller of all time'. This is interspread by 'true life' confessions of former obscene phone callers that are so twisted you'll just have to laugh. Also has a wild,'far out' animated sequence that could easily fit into a Marilyn Manson video. Much more provacative than today's hardcore adult films, which tend to be very mechanical. A truly unique film viewing experience that is similar to the much herald PUTNEY SWOPE, but is more consistently funnier and imaginative. A terrific example of 'grass roots' filmmaking were the creativity and ingenuity of the director makes todays $200 million, special effects laden blockbusters look as stale as yesterday's lunch. Most amazing scene features actor Barry Morse (Lt Griggs of the old FUGITIVE TV series) having over ten naked women lay on top of him at the same time!!

The story of a day in the life of a lonely, sensitive, exuberant, attractive, young woman. Her exploits, encounters, and frustrations as she attempts to find a "special" someone, a caller who has "class", as she puts it.

From the pornographic wallpaper to the downright raunchy situations, this is a dirty film. Yet, somehow a tastefully dirty film... not at all sexual, despite the nudity and sexual situations. Bizarre! How has Something Weird or someone else not gotten a hold of this title?

Frankly, I love the way this guy talks! And I love that this has a "young" William Hickey in it. I primarily know him later on from "Tales From the Crypt" and "Puppet Master", so it was great to see him more in his prime.

I didn't know of this obscure movie until I went on YouTube and discovered its trailer on it. It depicted a voice of a man who claims if he chooses to, he could seduce the president of the United States and his family! So I just watched the whole thing and it's quite weird what with some confessions of former obscene phone callers put in between the story of a young woman wanting to meet her obscene phone caller. It takes place in New York City during the early '70s in mostly black and white, only turning to color when an animated sequence comes on during a live-action sequence taking place in two phone booths. Oh, and there are early appearances of future stars like Jill Clayburgh. So on that note, The Telephone Book is one weird movie that's quite amusing if not completely hilarious.