Denise Nickerson: Violet Beauregarde

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Violet Beauregarde

Violet Beauregarde: Well, they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka: Why, of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt: Stuff and nonsense!
Willy Wonka: No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group: [turning around] Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka: From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady, but...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions *must* be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca Salt: Hey, Daddy, *I* want an Oompa Loompa! I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away!
Mr. Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
Veruca Salt: [whining] I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet Beauregarde: Can it, you nit!

Mrs. Gloop: What a disgusting, dirty river!
Mr. Salt: Industrial waste, that. You've ruined your watershed Wonka: it's polluted.
Willy Wonka: It's chocolate.
Veruca Salt: That's chocolate?
Charlie: That's chocolate!
Violet Beauregarde: A chocolate river.

Willy Wonka: Don't you know what this is?
Violet Beauregarde: By gum, it's gum.
Willy Wonka: [happily, but sarcastically] Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
Violet Beauregarde: What's so fab about it?
Willy Wonka: This little piece of gum is a three-course dinner.
Mr. Salt: Bull.
Willy Wonka: No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.

Mrs. Teevee: [as the Wonkatania starts to move] I think I'm going to be seasick!
Willy Wonka: [handing something to Mrs. Teevee] Here, take these.
Mrs. Teevee: What are they?
Willy Wonka: Rainbow drops. Suck them and you can spit in seven different colors!
Violet Beauregarde: [as she digs around in her nostril] Spitting's a dirty habit.
Willy Wonka: I know a worse one.

Veruca Salt: [after Willy gives an Everlasting Gobstopper to each of the kids] Hey, she's got two! I want another one!
Violet Beauregarde: [showing her Gobstopper to Veruca] Stop squawking, you twit!
Willy Wonka: [making it clear he's not going to stand for the girls' bickering] Everybody has had ONE, and ONE is enough for anybody. Now come along.

Violet Beauregarde: Well, I'm a gum chewer, normally. But when I heard about these ticket things of Wonka's, I laid off the gum and switched to candy bars, instead. Now, of course, I'm right back on gum. I chew it all day, except at mealtimes when I stick it behind my ear.
Mrs. Beauregarde: Violet...
Violet Beauregarde: Cool it, Mother!
[showing her gum to the audience]
Violet Beauregarde: Now, this little piece of gum here is one I've been chewing on for three months solid, and that's a world record. It's beaten the record held by my best friend, Miss Cornelia Prince Medal. And, WAS she mad.
[puts the gum back in her mouth and continues chewing, then waves]
Violet Beauregarde: Hi, Cornelia. How are ya, sweetie?

Mr. Beauregarde: [looks shocked when Violet begins swelling] Violet, what are you doing now? You're blowing up!
Violet Beauregarde: I feel funny.
[her belt pops off her expanding abdomen]
Grandpa Joe: I'm not surprised.
Violet Beauregarde: [continues expanding] What's happening?
Mr. Beauregarde: You're blowing up like a balloon!
Willy Wonka: Like a blueberry.
Mr. Beauregarde: Somebody, do something. Call the doctor!
[Mike Teevee poking at Violet's expanding body]
Mrs. Teevee: Stick her with a pin.
Charlie: She'll pop!
Willy Wonka: It happens every time, they all become blueberries.
Mr. Beauregarde: You've really done it this time, haven't you, Wonka. I'll break you for this.