Wendy Richard credited as playing...
Miss Brahms
- Miss Brahms: Well if England's a such good country you've cracked it up to be. How come then we've got strikes & inflation. Mmm? So what's so good about England then?
- Captain Peacock: I shall tell you what is so good about England Miss Brahms. It is the only country in the world that isn't semi-detached.
- [referring to Miss Brahms's house]
- Captain Peacock: .
- Miss Brahms: I want some excitement, I want to do something with my life. I'm looking for Dallas and all I'm getting is Coronation Street.
- Mr. Humphries: You're lucky. All I'm getting is Jackanory.
- Mrs. Slocombe: [into phone] Yes.
- [pause]
- Mrs. Slocombe: Yes.
- [pause]
- Mrs. Slocombe: I will.
- [hangs up phone]
- Mrs. Slocombe: Captain Peacock?
- Captain Peacock: Yes?
- Mrs. Slocombe: Apparently Miss Belfridge is in one of the fitting rooms, and Mr. Rumbold requires her in his office.
- Miss Brahms: She must have got in early!
- Mrs. Slocombe: She's no right to be there without my permission.
- Captain Peacock: Or mine. Get her out of there, Miss Brahms, I shall speak to her most severely about this.
- Miss Brahms: [walks to fitting room] Here! Captain Peacock wants you out here, at the double.
- Miss Belfridge: [walks out in outfit that is barely more than a bra and pantyhose, with Captain Peacock's eyes glued to her bust] You wanted to see me, Stephen?
- Captain Peacock: You should really ask for my permission to be on the floor, but I'll overlook it this time.
- Mrs. Slocombe: It's the only thing he has overlooked.
- Mrs. Slocombe: [Mr. Humphries has just been sacked for being a "troublemaker"] I can't believe this is our last morning coffee together!
- Miss Brahms: Coffee? I thought this was tea.
- Mr. Bert Spooner: No, the tea's the one with the froth on top.
- Mr. Humphries: I attended the Barley Road Mixed Infants.
- Miss Brahms: Oh, boys and girls?
- Mr. Humphries: No, just boys!
- Miss Brahms: How's your queen pudding?
- Mr. Humphries: It hasn't quite fulfilled its promise.
- Mr. Lucas: I don't know. It promised to be awful and it's disgusting.