Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

Anyone looking for a gory action-packed zombie movie will need to look elsewhere. This movie has more of a "Night of the Living Dead" feel, with an added wry sense of humor that's distinctly 70's. This movie might bore you at first, but I dare anyone to watch it late at night alone (with the lights out). The ghoulish concoction of forest sounds, the dissonant harmonies of animals of the night, and crickets make up the soundtrack to this movie. Coupled with this aural effect are the setting and eerie darkness (all of it takes place at night in a cemetery). There are no Hollywood big budget type music in the background to diffuse the morbid aura this movie exudes, as you are forced to experience the claustrophobic despair along with the movie's characters. Your patience will certainly pay off in the end as this seemingly innocuous film builds to a heart-stopping, frighteningly realistic climax.

This campy, offbeat Night of the Living Dead variant (on a far smaller budget) is creative and truly frightening. Alan Ormsby is a flamboyant, tryannical director who drags his rep company to an island for mean-spirited pranks in the cemetary. The actors, wishing to keep their jobs, play along. The "fun" climaxes when Alan uses an unearthed corpse named Orville in a mock Satanic ritual to raise the dead. What starts as an amusing (if slightly unfocused) comedy makes the transition into dark character study, revealing the truly dysfunctional relationship between Alan and his actors. He drops any pretense of fun and starts badgering, berating, and abusing the troupe--who, employment or no employment, are pushed to the breaking point. But the night isn't over yet. It seems that the ritual actually worked, and in a truly breathtaking sequence, the dead rise from their graves and close in on the living.

I saw CSPWDT on videotape, alone, as dusk melted into night. When it ended, I was shivering. This is true nightmare material. Though not as graphic as some, it's a strong PG, with surprising bursts of gore and implied necrophilia. The performances are thoroughly convincing--though subtlety may not be the actors' strong suit--with standout turns from Anya Ormsby (Alan's wife, resembling a demented Lynn Lowry) and sarcastic Valerie Mamches. The grainy, unpolished photography and claustrophobic atmosphere make it all the more effective. A deserved cult classic, this is perfect for Halloween and a must-see. Kill the lights and find out why Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things.

This is one of those great horror movies where the only problems can be found in corporate faults. This movie is full of great characters (even the character you're supposed to hate is really interesting), with good acting to back up the great story. I also like how Alan's necrophiliac desires are really underplayed by how the film is made. Some people won't even catch them the first time they watch it, which gives this an oddly intellectual angle. Also, most of the make-up FX are truly amazing in such a low-budget movie. The close-ups of some of these zombies really make that obvious, which makes me wonder how people could trash on these excellent make-up jobs. You want to see some bad make-up? See "Redneck Zombies", it will redefine what bad make-up is for you. Anyway, this movie is good at the black humor and just as good with the chills. This being a PG film without hardly any blood, I was surprised to find that the zombie attack scenes had an intensity to them that greatly rivaled those in "NOTLD" without hardly any gore. (Still, I do want to see the uncut version available through some import services and see why that version was rated for people 18 and over!) Another thing I love about this movie is that it has some of the greatest atmosphere to it. It retains a classic, dark-foggy-night horror feel throughout, with even the slowest of moments having a definite creepiness to them. It's also great to see a horror movie with zombies that relies more on the characters than blood and guts for a change. Many criticize this for being too slow, but I enjoyed every minute of it. A very sadly underrated and ultimately overlooked masterpiece of indie horror.

I first encountered this movie as a kid. The ad in the paper with Alan, a corpse and the guy with the beanie...it was speaking to me in ways that I wouldn't understand for years--black humor! I first saw it on t.v. as a teen, long before I'd seen "Night Of The Living Dead," and it spoke to me again. It was scary...but it was funny and sort of "wicked" too. It went places I knew instinctively most movies did not, and I loved it for that, as well as the fact that I knew others would NOT like it.

The story is nothing remarkable--a bunch of hippy actors invade an island, raise the flesh-eating dead, and die horribly. What is memorable about this movie is the execution. The characters are all wonderfully obnoxious actors. They spit campy, bitchy, memorable dialog and are all generally hateful and selfish. It comes off as phony, but most actors I know really talk and behave like the characters in this movie, as though they are "in a movie." The actors did a great job. You have a sense all the characters are going to die in great pain, especially the beautifully hateful, snivelling director of the theater company with the stripey bell-bottoms, and the anticipation of this is wonderful. When the zombies finally enact their revenge it's extremely satisfying.

The effects are cheap, but then, I've never had a problem with cheap zombie effects. It's the idea of a zombie that is so frightening, not the make-up necessarily. They are irrational and unrelenting, even if it's a rubber mask they're wearing. But the zombies in this movie are, for all that, fairly effective. They come late, but by then you've been nudged into believing the whole movie is just a lark, so they're all the more effective. When they hit, they hit as hard as "NOTLD." The music score is eerie and effective, as well as the locale. You can almost feel the fog creeping up on you.

Where this one really distinguishes itself, however, is the "weirdo" factor. It flirts with gay stereotypes and necrophilia, Satan worship, Jewish humor and seriously bad 70's hair and clothing. It's a lot smarter than it appears, or most would think, and smart isn't what most people want (or get) with their cheap exploitation horror. It's surprisingly grisly for a PG and far too tame for an R. It's too funny for horror and too creepy for comedy. In other words, it's perfect! I'm sorry to hear they intend to remake it, but hopefully with it's original creator at the helm it'll be watchable at least. Bob Clark is an oddity, to be sure--he went from this to another wonderful cheap-o zombie film ("Dead Of Night," aka about 40,000 other titles) and "Black Christmas," to..."A Christmas Story"?? "Porky's"?? "Baby Geniuses 2?" Hmm. Well, it almost makes me respect him more for defying description.

Here's a tip of that hat to a great, original film from one of it's many "children..."

Interesting tidbit, I used to live in the house where the movie was shot. It belongs to my ex-mother-in-law. And trust me she is much scarier than any zombie! The site is located in Coconut Grove in Miami, Fl. She actually purchased the property with the original house that appeared in the movie but prior to her being able to start renovating the original house it burned down. She later built a new home on the same site. Interesting enough after Hurricane Andrew blew by in 1992 it knocked over a huge avocado tree in the backyard and my ex-brother-in-law and I dug up tons of old turn of the century bottles that had been buried under the tree. Even more interesting the late Marjorie Stoneman Douglas the great conservationist champion used to frequent the home which was once owned by the Deering family and would summer there. The home she lived in until she passed away is just a few blocks away... Yes a very interesting piece of land with a very interesting history. And don't get me started on my own personal ghostly experiences at the house!!! Really!