Carol Burnett credited as playing...
Tillie
- Pete Seltzer: What were you saying about the gardener?
- Tillie Seltzer: We're going to have to let him go.
- Pete Seltzer: [incredulously] Let him go? What are you talking about? He's got six kids.
- Tillie Seltzer: Apparently, those are the only seeds he can plant.
- [first lines]
- Tillie Shlain: I wasn't looking forward to this party - or meeting Pete Seltzer. But when you've reached my age and your friends are beginning to worry about you, blind dates are a way of life.
- Tillie Seltzer: Oh, I was just shopping. I bought bottles and bottles of vitamins. I don't happen to believe in vitamins, but there's a sale and I happen to believe in sales.
- Pete Seltzer: [Trying to make small talk, upon first meeting Tillie] Where were you born?
- Tillie Shlain: I hail from San Jose.
- Pete Seltzer: I have to be honest with you. That isn't much of a "hail". Next time you're asked, say, oooh, I don't know... Indianapolis.
- Pete Seltzer: [while on their first date, at a Greek restaurant] You see that tiny man in the aisle there? That's Mr. Grougaris. He owns the joint. You notice anything strange about him?
- Tillie Shlain: [Turning around and looking at him] Just that he's obviously wearing elevator shoes. Is that it?
- Pete Seltzer: Exactly. And it gives me an opportunity to say to my dates, "Beware of Greeks wearing lifts".
- Tillie Shlain: I *hope* you won't say that to me.
- Pete Seltzer: [sheepishly] I won't.