Edith Massey credited as playing...
Edie
- Miss Edie: Babs, where do eggs come from?
- Babs Johnson: From little chickens, Mama. They lay them, and we eat them.
- Miss Edie: But suppose someday there weren't any chickens. Would that mean there wouldn't be any eggs?
- Babs Johnson: Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that, Mama.
- Miss Edie: But... but is it true, Babs? lf there weren't any chickens, there wouldn't be any eggs? Is that true?
- Babs Johnson: I suppose so, Mama... but there will always be chickens. You can be sure of that.
- Miss Edie: But suppose someday it happens. Suppose someday there weren't any chickens. Oh, Babs, what could I possibly do? And then the eggman wouldn't have... he wouldn't have a job. It might happen, Babs. What could I do?
- Babs Johnson: Now, Mama, that's just egg paranoia. I think you're being very silly. There will always be chickens. Why, there are so many chickens now... that we can eat some and let some of them live... in order to supply us with eggs. Chickens are plentiful, Mama. The world will never be without chickens. You can be sure of that.
- Miss Edie: Oh, Babs... IT COULD HAPPEN! IT COULD HAPPEN!
- Crackers: A turd, Mama, a turd!
- Cotton: Who could've sent this?
- Miss Edie: Ahhh. A turd? Oh, a turd! Oh, Babs!
- Babs Johnson: This is a direct attack on my divinity!
- [the family ponders who could have sent Babs an obscene parcel]
- Edie, the Egg Lady: The Egg Man didn't do it, Babs! I KNOW the Egg Man didn't do it!
- Babs Johnson: Oh, I don't think he did it either, mother, now shut up and let me think, WILL YOU?
- Miss Edie: Look, Babs. So many little eggies, and I'm still starving, and I'm going to eat them all before I go to sleepie.
- Miss Edie: You mean you'll bring me fifty eggs a day? And I can come and visit Babs and Cotton and Crackers? And you'll buy me a new girdle and bra and pretty underthings?