The Thing with Two Heads

If you thought THE DEFIANT ONES was the ultimate in forced race relations, try watching this horror classic from "adults only" vets Lee Frost and Wes Bishop! Ray Milland (yes, the same Ray Milland who won a Best Actor Oscar for his excellent turn in 1945's THE LOST WEEKEND) is a brilliant-but-racist brain surgeon who is dying, but has perfected a way to live on through head-transplants. Someone out there decides to teach him a lesson by placing his bigoted noggin on the body of a black convict (former professional football star Rosey Grier). The heads fight, punch each other and go through many other genuinely (and unintentionally) hilarious slapstick scenes. Try not to laugh watching Grier running around or riding on a motorcycle with a ridiculous-looking fake dummy-head planted on his shoulders.

Not to be confused with THE INCREDIBLE TWO HEADED TRANSPLANT (1971) or Andy Milligan's THE MAN WITH TWO HEADS (1972).

Score: 5 out of 10 (Though a MUST for camp aficionados!)

I must start off by saying I love "B" movies, but even if you aren't normally a "B" movie fan you will get a kick out of this 1972 American International Picture. This movie pairs Ray Milland as a bigoted doctor who is dying of cancer who has his head transplanted on to the body of wrongly confused death row inmate Rosey Grier. The whole movie is bizarre from start to finish. Watch the two head gorilla run amok in a grocery store! See Rosey and Ray on a motorcycle trying to outrun the fuzz! Whoever came up with the concept for this turkey must have been on crack cocaine or LSD. One has to wonder what made Academy Award winner Ray Milland to even consider doing this movie. He had to be drunk, completely broke or both to appear in this mess. This movie is so bad it's great! If you have never seen this movie I recommend that you rent it and then call over a group of friends, break out the beer and the popcorn and then sit back for a fun evening.

Rosey Grier and Ray Milland are the most dynamic pairing in cinematic history. I used to think it couldn't get much better than Hepburn and Tracy but I was wrong. When I was enrolled in an anger management class, one of our exercises was to watch this film and then team up in groups of four to reflect on it and make macaroni drawings. I painted my macaroni red and glued it into a heart with "Love Thy Neighbor" etched underneath it in black crayon. My parole officer was so proud. Racism never pays and neither does beating your ex-wife over the head with a steel pipe. My favorite scene is the helicopter chase. It is in no way hokey or prolonged. TWO HEADS is the second greatest movie of the 1970s (I would say "the" greatest, but that title belongs to MITCHELL.)

Every time this film shows up on cable, I just watch it in wonder. If they thought they were making a parody, they didn't succeed; and they couldn't have been serious, could they?

Weak script, bad effects, boring chase scenes. Couldn't be worse...

Yet, shockingly, I watch it every time in total amazement. I sometimes do an exercise by putting myself in Ray Milland's place in an attempt to practice empathy.

It is the best worst movie I ever saw. I love it every time. Help me, please help me.

Snowed in on an early December 2003 Sunday. Caught this one by accident on cable and couldn't stop watching. What a delightfully cheesy flick. The long chase scene was a howl. As the chase unfolded, you could tell most of the cars weren't even in running condition so they just pushed them off some steep hill to get them to roll and crash. The same car gets wrecked about 6 times again and again. The one liners are a riot. The acting, script and plot is too funny to even consider it legit. I'm surprised this didn't make the Rolling Stone 50 top cult film list. The music and score has that 70's wha-wha, bowchickabownow sound, right up until the end that is, when it suddenly turns Gospel, with Rosy, his old lady and the doctor driving off into the night singing "Oh Happy Days". What a wacky gem from 72! I recommend it if you're snowed in and you've got 90 mins. to kill. Enjoy!