Stefan Gierasch: Fritz

What's Up, Doc?

Fritz

Fritz: You will enter Mrs. Van Hoskins' room, through the adjoining room and you will take the jewel case to the basement.
Harry: What if she wakes up and sees me?
Fritz: You will tell her you are smitten with her, that you have have followed her all night, and you will make passionate love to her.
Harry: Couldn't I just kill her?

Fritz: [Mrs. Van Hoskins approaches] Here she comes now, did you get the jewels out of the hotel?
Harry: Nah, I stashed 'em in 1714, I didn't have time...
Fritz: 1714? What kind of house detective are you? Cannot commit a simple burglary.
Harry: I'm ashamed.
Fritz: Nevermind. I will return the case to her room, while you detain her.
Harry: How do I do that?
Fritz: Use your charm!
[walks away]
Harry: Charm... use your charm.
[as Mrs. Van Hoskins walks by, Harry trips her and she falls]

Fritz: [beaming] Mrs. Van Hoskins! It's so nice to have you back with us.
Mrs. Van Hoskins: Hello, Hans.
Fritz: Fritz.
Mrs. Van Hoskins: What happened to Hans?
Fritz: There is no Hans, Mrs. Van Hoskins. There is only me, Fritz!
Mrs. Van Hoskins: Oh, what a shame.
Fritz: Boy!
Mrs. Van Hoskins: Now Franz, I'm going to take this with me. There are some things I need tonight.

Fritz: I am afraid one of our guests has lost something.
Eunice: Well, I fail to see how it could possibly be in here unless it crawled here under its own power.
Fritz: Precisely Miss Burns.
Eunice: What are you saying?
Fritz: It appears one of our guests, a wealthy eccentric, has lost his pet snake.
[Eunice screams and jumps onto the bed]
Fritz: Calm yourself, Miss Burns. May I suggest you shut yourself in the bathroom for a few moments while I search your room?
Eunice: What if it's in there?
Fritz: Impossible, madam. Snakes, as you know, live in mortal fear of... tile.
[Eunice scurries into the bathroom]
Fritz: [reaches under bed and pulls out one of the cases] It's all right Miss Burns. You can come out now.
Eunice: What more can they do to me?