2069: A Sex Odyssey

And a hard spot somewhere else. I haven't seen this movie since i was quite young, maybe 12 or 13, who knows. But what i do know is this is the movie that taught me how to masturbate. I kid you not. I have no idea if it is any good by any real standards of today, but for me, back then, it was everything.

The only reason i feel comfortable writing this is because i'm sure no one will ever get around to reading it. I mean, really, who is going to look up this movie these days?

I just discovered that i have not yet used up the ten line minimum for the amount of length i most take up in a review. i had no idea there was such a minimum length, but there i go, like a student trying to fill up a page in a journal, my ten lines. thank you very much.

this swedish, german(or wherever the hell its from) soft core porn is SLEAZY! i mean, the whole idea behind the suck-o-matic machine was kind of interesting but they shouldn't have been so gratuitous. the film was also really sexist. i realize that soft-core porn isn't exactly geared toward readers of feminist discourse, but it was still offensive. i mean all the guys tried to have sex with the women almost immediately and, of course, the women were all passive about it. also, they guys that the women had to have sex with were all ugly. even if your a heterosexual man, wouldn't rather see a good looking man naked? worth a look if it turns up on late-night t.v. and your horny, which is the only condition that will make this film worthwhile.

If you are looking for an erotic masterpiece this isn't it. If you're looking for a comedic masterpiece this isn't it. If you're looking for something hardcore this isn't it.

That being said if you are looking for an example of the fine art of European erotic comedy from the the early - mid 1970's this is it.

I see many people complain about the quality please understand it was made in 1974. Yes the women do not conform to the modern ideal of attractiveness. They are by no means ugly women but they do not have the same looks which are idealized in our silicone culture. Yes the dubbing is not great but they are speaking German and anyone who speaks any German will realize it is pretty hard to dub over a word with 12 syllables.

If you have seen the DVD prior to the latest release it is marketed with 2 covers of 80's and recently 90's adult stars. The film is an R film so those complaining about hardcore should have realized this, the film is edited from the original BUT it was also edited prior to its run in the drive-ins in the late 1970s.

I first saw this film as a young man and judging by some comments there are many in the same boat who caught a glimpse on Cinemax. Many people become upset when later in life it doesn't live up to their previous memories. It's understandable considering the raunch and nudity packed into todays erotica.

If you compare 2069 to a modern soft-core erotic comedy you may be disappointed. The film while outlandish is actually quite fluid and the jokes while generally innuendos and double meanings still hold up and can still garner a chuckle. If you compare it to a hardcore movie you will be further disappointed, compared to today you see very little.

It is still one of the best examples along with Bottoms Up and The Other Cinderella of European Erotic/Comedic Cinema of the 1970's.

Why do I give this 1974 porn movie 7 points? Because I watched it. And I found it hilarious! Aliens, their weird spaceship, their weird helmets... my God, was that a sight. And all what these desperate alien women need is semen from the earth.

And where do they look for it? In upper Bavaria, Germany. And that is where the main fun comes from: In Europe (and more so in German-speaking countries), Bavaria is seen as a traditional and backward region. And then the actors are so helpless with the alien women. Well, there have been films about people being unable to deal with women like the "American Pie" series.

But what this film achieved is a true, funny weirdness. You constantly wonder how they came up with these crackpot ideas. But it was 1974, and looking back 35 years fills one with a kind of nostalgia. You've never seen a film like that.

And if you don't mind seeing the casual pubic hairs and breasts, watch it once. It is a comedy essentially, not a porn flick.

If you see the title "2069 A Sex Odyssey" in the video store, BEWARE!! The cover has Tori Wells and three other "80's" porn stars, and has a copyright of 1986. If you're like me (and I hope you're not) you'll think "80's porn? Tori Wells? Alright!" Trickery!! It was made in 1974 and has dubbed German stars! There's nothing inherently wrong with 70's German porn, but it's not my cup of tea, and it's nothing like what the cover leads you to believe you're getting. Once I got past my rage about the blatantly misleading jacket, I watched it anyway. It's a bad, bad movie. Sorry, I guess I didn't really get past the rage.