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Any Old Port in a Storm (1973)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Any Old Port in a Storm

Columbo

Peter Falk credited as playing...

Columbo

Photos9

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Quotes19

  • Officer: [seeing Columbo's unlit cigar] Hey-ay, can I light that for you?
  • Columbo: No, no thanks. Tryin' to cut down. All I do is chew 'em lately.
  • Officer: Why don't you chew a cheaper cigar?
  • Columbo: I don't want to cut down on my standard of living.
  • Columbo: [to Ric's fiancée] You two didn't have a fight or anything, did yuh?
  • Joan Stacey: No, but...
  • Columbo: Maybe he got cold feet. That's been known to happen. Was he married before?
  • Joan Stacey: Three times.
  • Columbo: Three times. I guess his feet are warm enough by now.
  • Columbo: How can you tell a good wine from an average wine?
  • Frenchman: By, uh... the price.
  • Adrian Carsini: I think you're really gonna like this wine. It's a...
  • Columbo: Oh, don't tell me. Let me guess.
  • [sips wine]
  • Columbo: Sensitive breeding. Rich bouquet. Strong vinosity. Well, it's a Burgundy; I'm just not sure whether it's a Pinot Noir or a Gamay.
  • Adrian Carsini: You're an Italian, aren't you?
  • Columbo: Uh, yes, sir, on both sides.
  • Adrian Carsini: Well, you should know about good wine. It goes with the heritage.
  • Columbo: Well, I guess I kind of messed up in that department. I'm gonna tell ya somethin' else - uh, I'm probably the only Italian in the world who can't sing either.
  • Columbo: Uh, excuse me. My name is Lt. Columbo, I'm with the Los Angeles Police Department, and I need a little help. Uh, can anybody here tell me - did it rain last Tuesday?
  • Columbo: My handwriting is so bad, sometimes I think I should've been a doctor.
  • Columbo: [Become dizzy after standing up] Oh, boy!
  • Adrian Carsini: You all right?
  • Columbo: I didn't realize I drank that much. Whatta ya call that stuff?
  • Adrian Carsini: Cabernet sauvignon.
  • Columbo: I usually don't drink anything I can't pronounce, but I can see I got a lot to learn. First thing I gotta learn is how to hold my cabernet sauvignon.
  • Karen Fielding: I must have your name.
  • Columbo: Why would you want my name when you have such a nice name yourself?
  • Columbo: Did it rain last Tuesday?
  • Bartender: Mister, I can't remember what happened this morning.
  • Adrian Carsini: Why were you assigned to the case? I mean, you're-you're in homicide, aren't you?
  • Columbo: I just go where they tell me to, sir.
  • Adrian Carsini: Well, doesn't look right to me. It looks like they, uh... they suspect someone of, uh, foul play.
  • Columbo: Well, maybe they do, sir, but you certainly don't have anything to worry about. You were three thousand miles away at the time of his death, right?
  • Adrian Carsini: Right.
  • Adrian Carsini: Didn't your family ever drink wines at home?
  • Columbo: I tell you, the closest we ever came to it was my father's job during prohibition.
  • Adrian Carsini: Bootlegger?
  • Columbo: No, he was a tail gunner on a beer truck.
  • Columbo: [as his dinner guests are served Ferrier Vintage Port, 1945] Drinks all around.
  • Columbo: He allowed YOU to decant the claret?
  • Falcon: Yes. I was honored.
  • Columbo: Man needs a very steady hand for that.
  • Falcon: [laughs] Oh, yes. Very steady.
  • Adrian Carsini: You've learned very well, Lieutenant.
  • Columbo: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
  • Columbo: If I can bring a baby-sitter, I'll even bring my wife
  • [to the restaurant]
  • Columbo: .
  • Columbo: I'm still a little hung over from Mr. Carsini's Cabernet, uh, what-cha-ma-call-it.
  • Columbo: I thought wine was just to drink. Today I found out it's also an investment. Some bottles of wine sell for $100, can you believe that?
  • Adrian Carsini: That's a fair medium. I have bought bottles of wine that cost, oh, $5,000.
  • Columbo: $5,000 for a bottle of wine? You know, my father never made $5,000 in a year! Can you imagine drinking a year's salary in one night?
  • Columbo: I'm not very good on details, that's why I write everything down.

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