Niall Buggy credited as playing...
Arthur Frayn • Zardoz
- [the gigantic Stone Head hovers before the worshipful horde of Exterminators]
- Zardoz: Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones.
- Exterminators: We are the chosen ones!
- Zardoz: You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!
- Exterminators: The Gun is good!
- Zardoz: The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.
- [first lines]
- Arthur Frayn: I am Arthur Frayn, and I am Zardoz. I have lived three hundred years, and I long to die. But death is no longer possible. I am immortal. I present now my story, full of mystery and intrigue - rich in irony, and most satirical. It is set deep in a possible future, so none of these events have yet occurred, but they *may.* Be warned, lest you end as I. In this tale, I am a fake god by occupation - and a magician, by inclination. Merlin is *my* hero! I am the puppet master. I manipulate many of the characters and events you will see. But *I* am invented, too, for your entertainment - and amusement. And you, poor creatures, who conjured *you* out of the clay? Is God in show business too?
- Arthur Frayn: You see, our death-wish was devious, and deep. As Zardoz, Zed, I was able to choose your forefathers! It was careful genetic breeding that produced this mutant - this slave who could free his masters! And Friend was my accomplice! Don't you remember the man in the library, Zed?
- [a chime is heard]
- Arthur Frayn: It was I who led you to the 'Wizard of Oz' book! Ha-hah, it was I who gave you access to the Stone! It was I!
- [a chime is heard]
- Arthur Frayn: I bred you! I led you!
- Zed: And I have looked into the face of the force that put the idea in your mind. You are bred, and led, yourself.
- [He strides away, and Friend advances to join Arthur]
- Friend: Arthur! We've all been used!
- Arthur Frayn: And re-used.
- Friend: And abused!
- Arthur Frayn: And amused!
- Arthur Frayn: Let's kill each other, Friend!
- Friend: What?
- Arthur Frayn: Proper regard for irony.
- Friend: Oh, yes, yes.
- Arthur Frayn: One last trick?
- [Frayn takes out a dove, which Friend goes to pet, before being shot by an exterminator]
- Friend: Success! It was all a joke!
- [More exterminators open fire, killing both Frayn and Friend]