Elliott Gould credited as playing...
Charlie Waters
- Charlie Waters: If it takes a watermelon five minutes to water. How long does it take a sweetpea to pee? As long as it takes a pair of dice to crap.
- Charlie Waters: I've seen an elephant walk, but...
- Bill Denny, Charlie Waters: I've never seen an elephant fly.
- Bill Denny: My God, that Dumbo flew.
- Charlie Waters: A lot of black folks said that was bad news, you know, seeing a black crow sing about a big flying elephant. What's that? It's taboo! No black crows.
- Bill Denny: Come on, Valdez! Come on, Valdez!
- Charlie Waters: Who's Valdez?
- Bill Denny: Valdez is the jockey!
- Bill Denny: [drinking in a bar] $20 says you can't name the seven dwarfs.
- Charlie Waters: OK. I know I can name three or four of them.
- Bill Denny: Here come seven like a Gatling gun.
- Charlie Waters: OK, seven dwarfs, I'm ready.
- Bill Denny: Sleepy-Grumpy-Doc...... ..Sleepy-Grumpy-Doc...... ..
- Charlie Waters: This is the truth. You're an animal lover, right? Okay, well, the great blue whale, right? You know about a great blue whale?
- Susan Peters: Isn't it that wrestling guy, huh?
- Charlie Waters: No, it's a big fish. A big fish. There's only about two or three left in the world. And the truth, the tongue of the great blue whale weighs more than a full-grown African elephant.
- Susan Peters: No, it's not true.
- Charlie Waters: You don't believe it?
- Susan Peters: You're just making it up to make me feel better. 'Cause you don't like to see me cry.
- Charlie Waters: You feel a little better?
- Susan Peters: Yeah, I do.
- Barbara Miller: Listen, fellows, it's breakfast time. We got Lucky Charms and...
- Charlie Waters: What's with this?
- Barbara Miller: Froot Loops! .
- Charlie Waters: Froot Loops? Have some waffles and...
- Bill Denny: I'll just have coffee.
- Charlie Waters: A little razzle-dazzle.
- Bill Denny: A lot of dazzle-dazzle.
- Charlie Waters: The minstrel man strikes again.
- Charlie Waters: What's your name, honey?
- Helen Brown: Brown.
- Charlie Waters: Brown, huh?
- Helen Brown: Yes, sir.
- Charlie Waters: First name?
- Helen Brown: Helen.
- Charlie Waters: Helen Gurley Brown?
- Charlie Waters: What's shaking, baby?
- Susan Peters: I just want to go to bed.
- Barbara Miller: Take your coat off, sweetheart.
- Barbara Miller: Your favorite: Lucky Charms.
- Charlie Waters: Hey, baby, can I have a beer, honey? You want a cold beer?
- Bill Denny: No. No, thanks.
- Charlie Waters: It goes good with your Froot Loops!
- Charlie Waters: Listen, you let a man rub some hot shaving cream on your ribs... you can take a shot with him at the track.
- Charlie Waters: Packing it all up and moving to Europe to paint, huh?
- Bill Denny: Yeah. I'm going to Reno.
- Charlie Waters: I got a cherry. I got two cherries. Excuse me. I got two cherries and nothing happened.
- Charlie Waters: Reno, that game. It sounds like a tough game, tough action, William, with a lot of these lumberjacks going up there. Cowboys, rich guys. Tough action, William. It's a tough game.