Doug McGrath credited as playing...
Sergeant Nash
- Sergeant Nash: [Jess has managed to keep the caller on the line for almost a full two minutes, allowing the phone company to trace the call] Uh, Lt. Fuller?
- Lt. Fuller: Yeah, Nash, what is it?
- Sergeant Nash: The phone company's on the other line, sir. They say they got a trace on this one.
- Lt. Fuller: Yeah, let's have it!
- Sergeant Nash: He says the calls are coming from #6 Belmont Street.
- Lt. Fuller: For Christ's sakes, Nash, you got it wrong. That's where the calls are going into.
- Sergeant Nash: That's where they're coming from too, sir.
- Lt. Fuller: [pause] Oh, shit...
- Lt. Fuller: [hands Nash a form] What's this?
- Sergeant Nash: Oh, that's the number of the sorority house.
- Lt. Fuller: Fellatio?
- Sergeant Nash: Yeah, it's a new exchange: FE.
- Lt. Fuller: [suppressing a laugh] A new exchange?
- Sergeant Nash: Yeah, Fellatio. One of the girls that was in this afternoon gave it to me.
- Lt. Fuller: [sarcastically] She gave it to you?
- Sergeant Nash: Yeah.
- Lt. Fuller: Nash, I don't think you could pick your nose without written instructions.
- [takes the form and walks back to his desk]
- Sergeant Nash: [thinks for a moment] I know. It's something dirty, ain't it?
- Sergeant Nash: [after Sergeant Nash calls the sorority house] Who is this?
- Jess: It's Jess.
- Sergeant Nash: Ah, Ms. Bradford, eh, this is Sergeant Nash. Are you the only one in the house?
- Jess: No. Phyl and Barb are upstairs asleep. Why?
- Sergeant Nash: All right. Now, I want you to do exactly what I tell you without asking any questions, okay?
- [Jess tries to ask something]
- Sergeant Nash: No, no, no... no questions. Now, just put the phone back on the hook, walk to the front door and leave the house.
- Jess: What's wrong?
- Sergeant Nash: Please, Ms. Bradford, please just do as I tell you.
- Jess: Okay. I'll get Phyl and Barb.
- Sergeant Nash: No, no, no! Don't do that, Jess... Jess, the caller is in the house. The calls are coming from the house!
- Sergeant Nash: Excuse me? Could you give me the number at the sorority house? Please?
- Barb: Yeah, sure. It's, ah... Fellatio 20880. Fellatio. It's a new exchange, FE.
- Sergeant Nash: That's a new one on me. How do you spell it?
- Barb: Capital F, E, little L, L-A, T-I-O.
- Sergeant Nash: Thanks.
- Barb: Don't mention it.
- Sergeant Nash: Bernie? Call the doc.
- Farmer: I'm not letting no son of a bitch trespass on my land in the middle of the night! I don't care what kind of a uniform he has!
- Lt. Fuller: What the hell's going on here?
- Cop #1: He fired on a police officer.
- Farmer: You goddamn right! I'll do it again, too. The bastard was tresspassing!
- Sergeant Nash: Hogan got an ass full of birdshot.
- Cop #2: Yeah, I'm gonna make the son of a bitch pick every one of 'em out with his teeth.
- Farmer: The next time you're gonna get the gun up your ass! Sideways!