Confessions of a Window Cleaner

Timothy Lea gets a job with his brother-in-law Sid. Timothy is willing but not very capable. However, he does have a knack for finding beautiful, scantily clad ladies who require more than just a nice shine on their bays.

The first of the 'Confessions' films is exactly what you'd expect: cheeky postcard humor, cheeky music, flying bras, female nudity galore, and a couple of chuckles.

I don't think the franchise deserves its toilet reputation; they really are a snapshot of 1970s Britain. Personally, I don't think they're a patch on the Carry On films, but they're watchable. I really do understand why some people hate them, it's not the kind of film you'd want to watch in polite company.

The washing-up liquid scene always makes me chuckle. Why did she need such a huge pack of it? I've always wondered. I love that Robin Askwith is still going strong. I really enjoy seeing him in the Madame Blanc mysteries; I think it's fair to say his acting improved with age.

There is such a good cast here, including Dandy Nichols, Bill Maynard, and John Le Mesurier; they do a decent job, but all are generally wasted.

5/10.

CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER has a lot to answer for. On release in 1974, it helped usher in a new wave of low budget British sex comedies, not least the three sequels that followed this. That's because it was inordinately successful, helping to destroy the CARRY ON films at the box office (only two more were made, each trying to copy this film's formula). Seen today, it's a rather twee, somewhat amusing, and completely dated little movie more embarrassing than it is funny. It's a simple, laboured exploration of British values of the '70s, bearing comparison to the likes of MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE and the TV series it most resembles, ON THE BUSES. The jokes are silly and full of the innuendo that made ARE YOU BEING SERVED? equally successful and the shooting style is low rent and down to earth. This was a film that working class folk could readily identify with.

Speaking of identification, Robin Askwith makes for a perfect 'hero'. He's young, somewhat stupid, quick to laugh at himself and not especially good looking; watching him score with numerous beautiful women must have been like a fantasy come true for all the British lads watching and wishing they were in a similar situation. I wonder how many became window cleaners after seeing the fantasies played out here? And what a supporting cast! There's Anthony Booth, future father-in-law of British prime minister Tony Blair; there's Bill Maynard, later a lovable fixture on TV and radio. Linda Hayden (BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW) is ravishing as usual, and even the likes of Sam Kydd and John Le Mesurier pop up to lend the movie some much-needed gravitas.

What I liked most is that this is far from a plot less string of sexual encounters. It has story, plain and simple, and the last third of the film goes off in a completely different direction as Askwith readies himself to be married. Okay, so there is a lot of sex and nudity in the film, and there are lots of attractive women attractively undressed, but this is sex of the saucy slap 'n' tickle variety, the quintessential British seaside postcard come to life. It's one step further than the CARRY ONs ever went, but it's never sleazy or sordid. It makes you laugh. CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER is far from classic, but it does paint a nice picture of the whys and wherefores of Britain in the mid-'70s and it has its own small place in the film industry's history.

The case against this movie hardly needs to be restated. Clunking, crass, monotonously unfunny, it's the sort of film that gives sexism a bad name.

And yet, for those who grew up in England in the early 70s, Confessions of A Window Cleaner is horribly evocative. The endless shots of tacky, dismal streets; the unwelcoming, tawdry interiors; the overwhelming sense of an exhausted gene pool; yep, that's what it was like. The film has some of the impact (though none of the accomplishment) of the photographs of Tony Ray-Jones, and promotes a similar melancholy.

Then there's Robin Askwith, who despite the various old troupers is the best thing in the movie. Granted, he wasn't everyone's idea of a sex god, and here he's at the mercy of a dire screenplay, but he gives it everything he's got. Looking and acting younger than his years, and with a cocky animality that no amount of boxy denim can mask, he sums up one particular breed of 70s boy, spunky, clueless, candid, vital, uncrushable. He looks great in his nude scenes, taut and doggy - there are moments of real beauty which belong in a better film. His sheer physical presence makes this awful picture almost worth watching.

Despite preconceptions, it's not vulgar, coarse or offensive. If you can accept the fact that it's actually meant to be cheap tacky rubbish you might find this mildly entertaining.

Robin Askwith gave hope to every clueless, ugly spotty teenager that had no idea whatsoever about girls. He showed that even the most hopeless case could have countless sexual adventures.....just by becoming a window cleaner. George Formby never extolled the perks of this career like this!

You know that as soon as each sexy girl first makes her appearance, within three to four minutes she'll have lost her clothes and a minute later will be getting physical with young Mr Askwith. Yes, it is super-tacky but since it's all done for laughs it's not what you could call dirty or smutty. You wouldn't call it tasteful but it's a lot more innocent than you think.

Another thing this isn't is funny. Even if you were a 17 lad in 1974 you probably wouldn't have laughed either but it is watchable and once you've started watching it, you'll want to stick with it until the end....and not just because of the promise of more naked ladies!

I think this genre of Saucy 70's British film is forever being slated by critics, Yes they are dumb, but they are harmless, the makers of these films did not intend to make groundbreaking cinema, but a funny and saucy alternative to the rest of the films tha country was producing from that era. I say these films are a cult, along with the On the Buses films, and the far more mainstreem Carry On's. I like to watch these films last thing at night, I call them 'bedtime films' you can just switch on after a hard day's graft, and perhaps even switch your brain off to watch them, there is just a fun, cheap thrill element to them, the films have an 18 certificate, due to nudity, but take that away they'd probably be a 'U' due to almost childish humore and very slapstick stuff! When they came out they were probably intended to be sexy, now the hairstyles, the fashions and the women are very funny, although not initially intended to be, these films have got better with age, and hey, I should probably not admit this but I really enjoyed the start of this film with Robin Askwith riding on his bike to a cheesy theme song!