Frankenstein '80

After years of work, Professor Schwarz (Roberto Fizz) has perfected his life-saving transplant serum. He keeps a bottle of the priceless serum, known cryptically as "The Schwarz Serum", in the staff fridge. Shockingly, the concoction is stolen within minutes!

Meanwhile, the world's ugliest man (Xiro Papas) is murdering women and removing their vital organs. The police are baffled.

FRANKENSTEIN '80 is a preposterous Italian horror film. Apparently made for no other reason than to show various bloody organ removals, the testicle transplant is a "highlight".

WARNING: Contains violent liver theft, nudity, garbled monster chatter, nudity, and icky monster love!

Highly recommended for those who seek to watch every movie ever made with the name Frankenstein in the title. All others may want to look elsewhere...

In 1818 when Mary Shelley wrote the supernatural tale that would go on to make her famous forever, it's difficult to imagine that she could ever have conceived that over 150 years later, her novel Frankenstein would be reinterpreted as a detective story about a sex-crazed rapist monster. Well, seeing as this version of the tale was made in Italy in the early 70's that's exactly what happened. Frankenstein '80 is one of the cycle of erotic Frankenstein movies made in Europe at the time. But this one also adds in a serial killer detective element which sort of ties it in with the giallo and poliziotteschi films that were very popular in Italy at the time. So it's a strange hybrid of specific sub-genres.

It's certainly a very trashy film. The dubbing is particularly deranged, while the film overall has a pretty cheap aesthetic. However, it's a gore and sleaze horror film at the end of the day and really has to be judged on these merits. And to be fair, Frankenstein '80 has plenty of both of those criteria; usually at the same time. The story is ludicrous of course. But I suspect very few of you will be watching this for its complexity or depth. It's more or less a slasher movie with Frankenstein's monster as the killer.

Not great but good mindless fun.

I can only wonder what Mary Shelley would have made of Frankenstein '80, one of the trashier movies to appropriate her classic literary creation for its own ends. Directed by Mario Mancini, this cheesy, sleazy piece of Italian schlock sees Dr. Otto Frankenstein (Gordon Mitchell) stealing a special serum that prevents organ transplant rejection, using it in the creation of a patchwork monster called Mosaic (Xiro Papas), who proceeds to not just kill beautiful women, but rape them too (in an early scene, we see Frankenstein preparing a nice set of gonads for his creature—how thoughtful of him).

With a rampant and very randy monster, there's certainly no shortage of sex and violence in this tasteless and often rather camp horror, but as delightfully deviant as it all sounds, Frankenstein '80 actually manages to be a rather dreary affair for much of the time, thanks to uneven pacing, lifeless performances, a weak script that dwells far too much on the investigative activities of a reporter called Karl (John Richardson), and a lack of decent gore: a lot of the killings are frustratingly bloodless, the surgical scenes are shot from a low angle so as to conceal the fact that Mitchell is pulling the organs from a tray hidden behind the body, and in one particularly inept scene, in which a victim has his head bashed against a wall, the ruptured bag' that provides the squirt of blood can clearly be seen attached to the actor's forehead. Only a brief shot of a severed head in a fridge genuinely delivers the grisly goods.

Thankfully, there is quite a bit of welcome nudity from a bevy of busty women to help alleviate some of the tedium, including a lengthy strip-tease routine that does nothing to advance the plot; but even with all of the bare female flesh on display, Frankenstein '80 is a tough watch, the last half an hour of obvious padding leading up to the monster's inevitable demise being particularly dull.

What a bunch of hooey! There are so many plot holes that one could write a book. I loved that there was big bottle in the refrigerator with the secret serum used to help in transplant surgeries. Then there is some of the worst acting that can be imagined. The characters deliver their lines and wait a half second for the next person to respond. Did anyone notice that the doctor's name was Frankenstein? There is lots of gratuitous sex and violence. It gets pretty bad. I guess old Dr. F. should have left one part out of the mix. The monster is quite formidable, I can give you that.

Two of the strangest parts are the police and the the hero. The police are a bunch of idiots who are more concerned that they can't smoke until the case is closed. The guy who plays the lead is spookier than the monster. He has that real 80's look and wears a funny little hat when he is out and about. This has a few moments of violence that keep one interested, but beyond that, it's just not very good.

Sometimes you need a film like this: plenty of gore, some boobs, no pretensions whatsoever, stupid ending. Frankenstien '80 (why the '80?) sets out to entertain your brain stem and nothing else, and succeeds admirably. Those seeking a more cerebral film or even a film with any redeeming qualities whatsoever should probably avoid this one.

It's amazing how much time you save in your Frankenstien movie if the monster in question is already up and rampaging when the film starts. There's no scrambling about for body parts here. When the film starts, the monster's out getting his own body parts! That's a nice pro-active approach, you've got to admit, but his creator, Gordon 'Frankenstien' Mitchell, doesn't really agree with this activity. His method is much better – he steals body parts from corpses in his morgue at the hospital, and takes them to his secret laboratory, hidden behind a book shelf in the morgue. Also, he's just stolen a serum from a surgeon that might stop his monster rejecting all those body parts.

Gordon's in a bit of trouble, mind. That serum was intended for the sister of a nosey reporter who was lined up for a heart transplant, and now she's dead, the cops are all over the place, and the reporter is on his trail! Add to that the unintended results of a knacker transplant on the monster (a knacker transplant! Brilliant!) and you've got a good set up for a horny guy who looks like a zombified Mussolini to go on a guts and boobs fest. You've got the monster trying it on with some hookers, the monster trying it on with a stripper, and the monster trying it on with his creator's daughter. Stupid? Awww yeah. Great? You bet!

Featuring gut fondling, heads in fridges, a strip tease act, Gordon Mitchell's face and a rather unwholesome tone about the film that you only find in Italian cinema. Love that abrupt ending too!