Invasion from Inner Earth

Want a movie with no action at all? Here it is, another Bill Rebane (Monster-a-go-go, Giant Spider Invasion), schlock-fest, boring beyond the limits of human tolerance. I'm a big fan of "so-bad-they're good" movies, since they are at least enjoyable on the level of invoking laughter from the unintentional humor; however, this one does not even achieve enjoyable camp status. It just annoys you.

Any "action" in this movie occurs off screen, and is conveyed through non-stop dialog throughout this tedious sleep-inducing dud. People blab on radios, aliens (with booming voices) chit-chat on radios, characters drone on endlessly to each other (without saying much), and on and on it goes. The most "exciting" sequence involved some colorful smoke bombs, with people screaming and running (away from the smoke?). Also, there's a plague (again, we only are told this through the babbling characters). Oh, and there's some irritating, synthesized noises in the soundtrack to tell you that something happens (since it doesn't happen on the screen, like it would in other movies).

There's plenty of ridiculous dialog; here's a sample: when a know-it-all guy theorizes (ready?) that Mars and the Earth were once closer to each other than the Earth and the moon are. The planets were aligned this way for over two thousand years, he lectures. How the five planetary bodies (Earth, its moon, Mars, and its two moons) did not crash into one another due to the immense, mutual gravitation, was not explained in the lecture.

That's about all there is to this, except a bizarre ending reminiscent of another Rebane fiasco, Monster-a-go-go. I don't know if MST3K ever slammed this one; they certainly should have. Even their best salvos might not have saved it, however. This mess deserves a negative rating, but, as you know, IMDb's rules prohibit that; which, in the case of this movie, is a pity.

Apparently, after a worldwide search for the perfect script writer, director Bill Rebane happened upon a little known writer named Barbara J. Rebane to pen his vision. Where he discovered her is unknown to me, but the two of them created magic together.

She took two bold steps in this film, one original and one copied later with a much higher budget.

First, she broke the survivor-typecast protocol that most writers would dare not violate. Rather than give longevity to the handsome brooding Native American or the outdoorsy Canadian, she gives the nod to the chunky, bearded, bespectacled cretin in the Sherlock Holmes hat. Under normal circumstances, this type of character would be lighting his own gas in the corner of the room while the others formulate a plan and then meet with an untimely, yet slightly humorous death. Rebane, on the other hand, even gives this guy the girl.

The other place where she unwittingly deserves credit is for utilizing the aliens-under-the-ground scenario for a lot less money than Tom Cruise probably paid for his "War of the Worlds" travesty. I'd be curious to know whether she got a "based on an idea by" or an "inspired by" credit in Cruise's film.

PS - despite the fact that I consider these two areas worthy of compliment, I am in no way recommending anyone actually watch this movie.

I saw this film on TV about 20 years ago, and while the film was pretty bad, I could not help but notice that in its basic premise was potentially a very powerful idea. There is something about the idea that some huge conflagration is consuming the rest of the human race, but the people in the film are isolated from it, and watch as it happens from far away. Every now and then they make contact with the force that is destroying the rest of the world over their radio, but they are not important enough either to be singled out or to be meaningfully communicated with.

I remember thinking, that's a pretty cool idea. Someone could actually make a good movie out of it. And finally, someone has, the movie SIGNS.

As a fan of "schlock" sci-fi, I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. I own a copy of "Plan 9 from outer space" and love to trot it out and "inflict" it on unsuspecting friends. It's a MST3K moment. This movie surpasses Ed Wood's classic by far.

The dialogue is so wooden and the "action" is so contrived that it is a joy to endure. A fan of "Kentucky Fried Movie" and it's ilk, I found this "movie" to be a joy - albeit a painful one. The acting is so terrible and the script so wrong, all the makings of a new "Plan 9".

I recommend this movie, watch it and get infected from its "wrongness", really, this movie is so bad, its great.

The "hero" of the story brings to mind the lumberjack in the Monty Python skit "The Lumberjack" and the "sister" - well, she is just plain clueless.

How can one write a script and produce a movie without one entertaining moment. Film is supposed to be visual in nature and this has people sitting around talking the whole time. And it's no "My Dinner with Andre." Something is killing the people of earth. It's spreading. Some people, trapped in some pretty cold environs (Canada?) are left to try to figure it out. That's all they ever do. Try to figure it out. They have no plan. They have no vitality. The aliens never confront them, to speak of, and so we don't even know what's going on. The outdoorsy scientist has a theory, but it could just be a bunch of hooey. The conclusion is about as stupid as anything I've seen in years. How could someone get the money to put together such a snoozer. If you can't compete with the big boys, at least tell a decent story. As with so many of these, there are long treks through the snow and a snowmobile trip that goes for about ten minutes with nothing happening.