George Memmoli credited as playing...
Philbin
- Beef: Listen, Philbin. There really is a phantom. He was just in my shower. He threatened my life. He said his music was just for Phoenix. Only she can sing it. Anyone else who tries, dies.
- Arnold Philbin: What the hell are you talking about?
- Beef: Look, Philbin. I am a professional. I have been in this business a long time. Now if I don't want to do a show, it's not because I got stage fright. It's because some creature from beyond doesn't want me to do the show! Now gangway!
- Arnold Philbin: [stopping Beef] Bullshit! Now, how did that really happen?
- Beef: Can't you feel the vibes in your own house? Bad, sport, real bad. I mean, the karma's so thick around here, you need an Aqua-Lung to breathe.
- Swan: [to an assassin, ragged voice] Remember, she must be hit just as Philbin says "till death do you part."
- Arnold Philbin: Now, what a minute. This may be none of my business or anything. But if you're gonna kill her, why do it here tonight?
- Swan: An assassination live on television coast to coast? That's entertainment!
- [Crowd chants Beef's name as his corpse is carried away in a body bag]
- Swan: Philbin, have you ever seen such a crowd?
- Arnold Philbin: No, and I never want to see another one.
- Swan: Look at them, they've really been entertained. They never want the show to stop. The Paradise is more magnificent that I ever dreamed.
- Arnold Philbin: Sure, how often is a rock star fried on stage?
- Swan: Quite an attraction.
- Swan: Philbin, it was genius making the end of the opera a wedding.
- Arnold Philbin: You mean Faust, instead of burning in hell, he gets the girl?
- Swan: Yes. And you, Philbin, will be the priest.
- Arnold Philbin: I ain't never been a priest before. That's terrific.
- Arnold Philbin: Bullshit, I know what it really is.
- Beef: Oh you do, huh?
- Arnold Philbin: Yes, I do.
- Beef: Why don't you tell me what it is.
- Arnold Philbin: Speed.
- Beef: Speed?
- Arnold Philbin: Yeah!
- Beef: What do you know about it? You just pass the stuff out, I take it! I know 'drug real' from 'real real'!
- Beef: Oh, I knew I shouldn't be screwing around with a dead man's music. This place is... possessed.
- Arnold Philbin: What are you talking about?
- Beef: You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does.
- Arnold Philbin: Opening night prima donnas. Look, iron man, if you're so uptight, take a shower and cool off.
- Beef: My pleasure... bones.
- Arnold Philbin: You know what?
- Winslow Leach: What?
- Arnold Philbin: I think the Juicy Fruits are gonna dig it.
- Winslow Leach: The Juicy Fruits?
- Arnold Philbin: I'm not promising anything, kid...
- [Winslow slams Philbin against the wall]
- Winslow Leach: I'm not gonna allow my music to be mutilated by those greaseballs!
- Arnold Philbin: Hey, take it easy...
- Winslow Leach: I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SING "FAUST"!
- Arnold Philbin: Relax, kid, it was just an idea. Swan make all these decisions, you know?