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Divine in Female Trouble (1974)

Edith Massey: Aunt Ida

Female Trouble

Edith Massey credited as playing...

Aunt Ida

Photos8

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Quotes11

  • Aunt Ida: [to Gater] I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.
  • Gator: I'm straight, I mean I like a lot of queers but I don't dig their equipment, you know. I like women.
  • Aunt Ida: But you could change. Queers are just better. I'd be so proud if you was a fag and had a nice beautician boyfriend. I'd never have to worry.
  • Gator: You have nothing to worry about.
  • Aunt Ida: And remember my offer. It still stands. If you get tired of being a Harry Krishner, you come live with me and be a lesbian!
  • Aunt Ida: Fucker! Pig fucker! Hetero! Filthy hetero stink-shit!
  • Aunt Ida: Ya little bitch! Get me out of this goddamn bird cage!
  • Taffy Davenport: Little bitch? Is that all the thanks I get? I gave you a hook, didn't I? Mother will kill me as it is!
  • Aunt Ida: Who cares about your stinkin' mother? She stole my Gator away. But she ain't gonna get me! And I'll thank you for for this fuckin' hook after I rip her eyes out with it. Give me some grub.
  • Taffy Davenport: There's no food here! Mother doesn't buy food for me! Do you want an egg? There might be some old eggs in the kitchen.
  • Aunt Ida: No I don't want no GODDAMN EGGS! I want MEAT and POTATOES!
  • Aunt Ida: Let me out of this cage little Taffy, and I'll give ya a cookie!
  • Aunt Ida: Oh, Ernie! Have another pretzel for Chrissakes! Wait 'til you meet my little Gater. You two are gonna fall right in love.
  • Ernie: My dear, I hope so. Are you sure he's gay?
  • Aunt Ida: Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Ernie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?
  • Ernie: I'm sure, Miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque.
  • Aunt Ida: Aahhh! Ahhhh! Dawn, ya son of a bitch! You're the one who did it! YOU! You drove Gater away!
  • [as Ida enters the room]
  • Donald Dasher: Oh my God!
  • Donna Dasher: Incredible!
  • Dawn Davenport: Ida Nelson, you get out of my house!
  • Aunt Ida: You made Gater leave! I got somethin for your face, motherfucker!
  • [Ida hurls acid into Dawn's face]
  • Aunt Ida: Oh, Gator, I'm sorry about Ernie. I thought you'd be cute together. Anybody's better than Dawn Slovenport.
  • Aunt Ida: You let me outta here, Dawn Pigport!
  • Gator: Hello, Aunt Ida.
  • Aunt Ida: Gater, what a coincidence! There's somebody here dying to meet you! Ernie, this is Gater; Gater, this is Ernie!
  • Ernie: Hi, stud!
  • Gator: Get him outta here!
  • Aunt Ida: Gater Nelson, you be polite to Ernie! He wants a date with you!
  • Gator: Well, I don't want a date with him. I came to say goodbye, Aunt Ida. I'm moving to Detroit.
  • Aunt Ida: WHAT?
  • Gator: I want to be near the auto in-duss-try. I'm sick of hairdressing, and besides, Dawn had me fired.
  • Ernie: I can get you a job at the baths, Mary!
  • Gator: Look, fucker, take a walk!
  • Ernie: Well!
  • Gator: Look, you better beat it before I punch your fuckin' face out that window.
  • Ernie: No gay knocks for me, Ida! At best, all you've got here is trade.
  • Aunt Ida: Oh, Gater! Ernie's your type! Move back in with me, and we'll get you a job as a female impersonator!
  • Ernie: His hands are too big, dahling. Bye, Gater. It was... fab meeting you!
  • Gator: Fuck you! You're worse than my wife!

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