Gone with the West

Rebecca: This is so bad it's almost good.

Enid: This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.

"Gone With the West" (a/k/a "Little Moon and Old Jug or Jud"), is a James Caan-Sammy Davis Jr. western best described as "The Rat Pack on LSD". The cast includes "The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.". It is a horrible western, made even worse by the condition of the print they used to make the DVD (a 2005 release by Mill Creek Entertainment), but it does feature one of the most intense cat-fights in cinema history.

Old Jug McGraw (Caan) and April Dancer are sent to the town of Black Miller by Mr. Waverly to investigate a Thrush plot led by a former Green Beret sergeant. There's opium dealers too, a lot of dogs, and a woman named Billie, who's kinda purdy. Everything gets straightened out, though I just watched the whole movie and I couldn't tell you how.

Though this film seems to have had a cute idea for a tongue-in-cheek western send-up at its heart, the result was so bad it reminds one of the cheesy pornographic films from the same era. Surely the production values are that low, and and as others have noted, the editing was such as should have earned any film-school student a failing grade. How a name-brand a cast like this one ever got involved with something so poor is to be wondered at. Perhaps no less wondrous is why really awful films like these get released on DVD while so many other infinitely more redeeming ones still fail to see the light of day (I personally am still waiting for "The Secret of Santa Vittoria" with Anthony Quinn). Rest assured, younger viewers, that this disaster is far, far below even the average quality of films of its time. Speaking of which, the 1975 release date cited in these pages cannot be accurate because the Oldsmobile Cutlass so prominently featured in the beginning of the film (yet another waste of otherwise perfectly good celluloid in connection with this movie) was not on the market until the 1978 model year.

This has to be one of the worst movies ever! How did it take three people to write a story with nearly no dialog and very little plot? How did anyone get talked into financing this bomb? How did they manage to get James Caan and SAMMY DAVIS JR.! to appear in this thing? I think this movie gave Sammy Davis Jr. cancer. He probably never let Sinatra or Dean Martin know he was in this thing. It is that utterly bad. It is more confusing than some bizarre Fellini flick. I watched the whole thing and I have NO idea what it is about, just a collection of scenes that don't add up to a story. I don't know what any of it means - the cockfighting, the woman and little kid getting shot, the two hookers (?) getting into a fight, the wrestling match in the bar (which is perpetually in a fight scene), the cowboy singing 'Abide With Me' every so often. Weird, weird, weird. Maybe it would make sense if you watched it on LSD, since it was apparently written under that influence. I can't recall another movie which has left me feeling so stunned, like 'What the HECK was that?' No wonder it's in the public domain; nobody would have spent the few dollars to keep the copyrights going. Wow. This whole movie makes no sense whatever.

Newspaper folk from the city, doing a piece on ghost towns, get an earful from a batty old crone near San Juan Batista who tells them a tall tale of the Old West. Excruciating western, apparently played for laughs, pits lonesome cowpoke James Caan against small town strong-arm Aldo Ray, with Stefanie Powers as an Indian love-interest who apparently doesn't speak English. Showing definite, crippling signs of post-production interference, this threadbare film is so ineptly edited, one feels as though he's watching a proposed pilot for a TV series which never sold. It isn't fair to call the end results a 'film' or a 'movie'...it's simply an excuse for the actors (good ones, mind you) to make a little extra money. Hopefully, the cast and their managers were well-paid. NO STARS from ****

I agree that this move must have originally been unfinished, or else something bad happened during the production - mainly because of the wrap-around present-day footage and narration that is completely redundant. What I can't figure out is how a cheapo movie like this got stars that were (of the time) pretty prominent, especially Caan. Well, Davis can probably be explained, because he appears in only a few scenes that were probably filmed in a day. I got a laugh out of his shiny black leather pants, and Powers was so mind-bogglingly awful (hardly speaking a word of English, by the way) that there was some extra amusement from that. Other than that, this is an incredibly painful western to sit through, with some of the most ludicrous plot turns even to hit the prairie.