Barbed Wire Dolls

Well, you can't openly declare that you like (or even enjoy) watching this type of movies because then – let's face it – you automatically get a stamp on your head that says 'potential threat to society'. Barbed Wire Dolls is a non-stop series of sex and violence that explicitly focuses on female nudity and sexual torture. The more reasonable reason to be interested in this film is the man who made it. Jesus Franco, the undeniable Godfather of sleaze takes on the ultra-controversial subject of 'Babes behind Bars' here. Franco is a remarkable director to say the least, with over 180 films on his repertoire as a director. Although this 'Barbed Wire Dolls' doesn't come close to his best achievements, it sure is memorable. But not exactly for the right reasons… The plot is thin to non-existent, it lacks range and feeling and there's no tension to detect. Even the typical exploitation-music (a must for films like this) is absent. Compared to what you might think, it isn't even THAT gross or nauseating. The film doesn't feature sequences of extreme bloodshed or severe mutilation. Instead, Barbed Wire Dolls only serves a lot of naked female beauty and absurd characters. We have the lesbian guard with obvious Nazi-tics, insane prisoners and fraudulent authority-figures. Oh, and let's not forget the falsely accused heroine and the remorseful male guard. Actually, Barbed Wire Dolls looked ideal to supply with a neutral rating. Like 4 or 5 out of 10…but then it got entirely spoiled by the abrupt and idiotic ending. Really, it looks like Franco all of a sudden got tired of it and just said: 'That's a wrap'. Maybe he had to hurry to another set…your agenda is pretty much filled with 180 movies to direct.

A sick mind, or a million dollars . . . Which is better? Currently I only have the sick mind: and this movie feeds that fairly well! The version I saw was 81 minutes instead of the 90 minute full length film: but still, I would have to inform you to NOT use the comment from, Quebec, Canada. Because, the lack of 9 minutes probably would not have deleted scenes of any loot from a robbery, or some insurance whatever, or information about a woman in prison for killing her lover: none of those statements was correct from what I saw. There was a prisoner who killed her father, and one who killed her brother. But . . . You'll have to watch to find out what really took place about one of those killings. And let me tell you about the female warden, Monica Swinn; she may not have been as sexy as Brigitte Nielsen's portrayal of a warden, but Monica still had appeal, and did very well with being a mean bitch. The eyepiece she wears is a good touch, too, along with the Nazi book she reads. And though her voice was dubbed, that voice was well chosen. The warden loves seeing nude prisoners get mistreated; and when you see the nudity, you're seeing a film much better then your average soft-core movie. You will also see a great looking old prison; or it's a castle by the sea? And finally, you'll see the jungle area between the prison and the sea where an escape takes place. But . . . the ending is not your typical Hollywood bullsh*t.

Barbed Wire Dolls (1975)

*** 1/2 (out of 4)

A young woman (Lina Romay) is sent to prison after accidentally killing her father (Franco himself) who was trying to rape her. Inside the prison she must deal with an evil warden (Monica Swinn), a mixed up doctor (Paul Muller) and all sorts of sexually hungry lesbians. As far as WIP (Women in Prison) films go then this is without question the best one I've seen as it has no limits to the amount of trash it will go to whether it be violence, torture, nudity or sexual abuse. The film never takes itself overly serious and instead is just a good time if you can stand this type of thing. Romay has the perfect look for the good girl and really delivers on that level. Her sexuality certainly shine through as does the rest of the girls. I've said quite often that no one knows how to film women better than Franco and his camera is constantly looking over all the beautiful women and picking up everything he can. Swinn is also in good form as the lesbian warden who love to torture and rape. Franco keeps the action moving through the rather short 80-minute running time, which is a great thing as the film never slows down or gets boring. All of the women makes for good characters to root for and all he bad guys are great villains including the Governor who gets his kick watching his assistant do the women. The highlight of the film however belongs to a flashback sequence where we see Romay kill her father being played by Franco. This scene, shot in slow motion, is just so incredibly silly that you can't help but laugh out loud.

Lurid does not begin to describe this Jesús Franco women-in-prison film. Lina Romay is sent to prison for murdering her father. The prison is run by a jackboot-wearing female warden and a serial killer prison doctor who killed the real prison doctor and is now posting as said doctor. There was a whole cycle of women in prison films in the 70s and 80s, and this one probably had more nudity and torture than any I've seen before, though I have to admit I have not yet seen SS HELL CAMP, which is supported to be the most extreme of this cycle. I watched a beautifully restored Blu-ray of this film from Full Moon Features, but this film is utter crap. However, it is definitely a film that's so bad it's good, the most hilarious moment being a flashback to when Romay kills her father. To save money, instead of shooting the scene in slow motion, director Franco has the actors fighting with one another as if they were moving in slow motion. The scene is so badly done I could not believe what I was seeing! Making matters even more bizarre, Franco was dating Romay at the time and played the abusive father. It's a scene that has to be seen to be believed. There are so many other bizarre scenes, such as one of the prisoners masturbating while holding a lit cigarette, with ashes falling on her genitalia or the reoccurring electric shock treatment scenes. There's really just no describing this film, but I feel like I should give this terrible movie an extra half a star for the entertainment value I got out of the terrible bit of filmmaking.

Well, I'm finally forced to admit it--up to now I've never seen a Jess Franco film (well, not knowingly, anyway; the guy has used 189,000 different names, so I might have seen one among his incredibly prodigious output made under one of those names though I didn't know it at the time). Naturally I knew about him, and his reputation, but I finally got around to seeing my first of one of his films today. And it was this one. And I'm still recovering.

All things considered, though, I've seen worse--not much worse, but worse. Then again, you can't judge a Jess Franco film by such arbitrary standards as "good" or "bad"; they just don't apply. Was it well made? No. Was it well acted? No. Was it well written? God, no. Was it enjoyable? Hell, yes. Its enjoyability factor was due in large part to the plethora of gratuitous nudity and just-this-side-of-porn sexual activities--sexual abuse, molestation, rape, incest, lesbianisn, voyeurism, and everything else that makes life worthwhile (at least in a Jess Franco film). It wasn't just the nudity and the sex that make this film so much fun, though. It was the joyously demented attitude of the thing. You got the feeling that Franco said to himself, "Well, I've managed to scrape together a couple of bucks; let's make a sleazoid women in prison picture and get Lina Romay naked as often as humanly possible"; for that philosophy alone he should have gotten a special Oscar.

As for the "plot"--as if you care about such trivial matters--a lezbo warden and an effeminate phony doctor run a combination womens prison/torture chamber/home for retired and/or escaped and/or wannabe Nazi concentration camp guards in an unnamed South American country (although it was shot in the Central American country of Honduras, something I'm sure the Honduran government wasn't particularly jazzed about when it finally found out what Jess was up to while shooting in one of their prisons)

As a movie, it's not really very good (actually, it stinks). As an example of the "Jess Franco experience", it's somewhat better. As a showpiece for Lina Romay's incredible sex appeal and terrific body, it's a masterpiece. If you go into it with the right attitude, it can be a lot of fun.

Come to think of it, even if you DON'T go into it with the right attitude it can be a lot of fun. Enjoy.