Roger Daltrey credited as playing...
Franz Liszt
- Richard Wagner: The trouble with your friends, Liszt, is they're all bourgeois pigs.
- Liszt: Oh, pigs if you please. But aristocratic pigs, not bourgeois.
- Princess Carolyn: You and the Tsar are just different sides of the same coin: false gods worshiped in different ways. Dress the Tsar as a peasant and you have a peasant.
- [searches for Liszt]
- Princess Carolyn: Stop skulking behind that screen!
- [continues]
- Princess Carolyn: Dress Liszt in a crinoline and what do you have? The same thing: a sham. Rather than walk naked through the world, he chooses to play the imposter. What do you say?
- Liszt: Bollocks!
- Princess Carolyn: "Bollocks"? I don't speak Hungarian.
- Liszt: Her Majesty gets a lot of satisfaction out of a good smoke?
- Princess Carolyn: It's the perfect form of pleasure. It's exquisite and leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one ask?
- Liszt: I always feel that people who like Brahms would prefer to have no music at all. He's a right wanker.
- Liszt: As yet he's unknown, but, he's a great talent and he's somewhere in the audience tonight. HIs name's Richard Wagner. Richard, where are you? Richard? Ah, Richard. Stand up. Take a bow. That's enough. Besides being German, Richard has something else in common with Beethoven. He's a bleedin' genius. How do I know? You told me so yourself, didn't you, Richard?
- Liszt: Well, we are in show business, Dickie.
- Richard Wagner: Yes! Because to you the piano is just - a harlot!
- Liszt: Yeah, and every penny owned by that harlot tonight goes to build a monument to your beloved Beethoven, which your beloved countrymen so belovedly neglected to build.
- Marie d'Agoult: Take me with you on your tours.
- Liszt: Remember the scandal when we tried that in London?
- Marie d'Agoult: Its not my fault if the English are prudes.
- Liszt: The box office took a proper bloody nose to it.
- Marie d'Agoult: Oh, bugger the box office!
- Liszt: They never heard me play in Russia. It would be a shame to waste that good publicity.
- Marie d'Agoult: And while you're storming Moscow, Napoleon, I suppose I'm expected to sit at home like Josephine, saving your press cuttings and knitting your mittens.
- Liszt: I won't be cold, love. Not with all those Russian muffs around.
- [sticks out and wiggles his tongue]
- Marie d'Agoult: I believed in you then.
- Liszt: All you believed in was a stiff cock and the fact that your old man never had one.
- Liszt: I must admit, my professor had to tell me the meanings of the sixth and ninth commandments.
- Princess Carolyn: Let us practice the 69th - together.
- Princess Carolyn: Come. We must pray.
- Liszt: Pray?
- Princess Carolyn: No longer must you prostitute your art. Music, like sex, should be approached in a religious spirit. As one of the holiest things in life.
- Liszt: [singing] My shame, Be my gain, Together we can light the flames, Flames of life, Flames of truth
- Liszt: [singing] Life is pain, Pain is loss, Life is pain, Pain is loss, Loss is mine for living, While innocents are dying...
- Princess Carolyn: Some little guttersnipe has written an obscene book about you and the Tsar, for one, is outraged.
- [hands Liszt the book]
- Liszt: "Lisztomania" Marie? Oh, God. It can't be. Why should she?
- Princess Carolyn: Then, you can become a saint.
- Liszt: Saint Franz Liszt!
- Princess Carolyn: You must become a Franziscan!