Stateline Motel

***SPOILERS*** Terribly dubbed into English Canadian movie where the actors look and sound like their a bunch of ventriloquists without having dummies to throw their voices at. Even the non-spoken sounds and noises in the movie aren't even synchronized to where they come across like far away echos.

Floyd, Fabio Testi, is just released from a Montreal jail after serving six months for car theft and is given 48 hours by the Canadian Government to leave the country. Floyd is picked up by his criminal associate Joe, Eli Wallach, then in what seems like ten minutes the two of them hold up a jewelry store shoot one of the costumers, critically, and are chased by the police all over the city of Montreal. After all that they split up in two cars and head across the Canadian border to Newport Maine.

They split up all right but for some strange reason Joe let's Floyd keep the entire amount of jewels that they just robbed, some $500,000.00 worth that they both agree to meet in Newport to split them up between themselves; why didn't they do it right there? Floyd driving on the icy and frozen highway like an idiot runs his car off the road and breaks it axle leaving him stranded at the "Last Chance Motel" just across the border from the state of Main in Canada leaving Joe in Newport left waiting for him and his share of the jewels.

The unbelievable story goes on with Floyd stuck at the motel and not being able to get across the border to Portland to get to Joe with the jewels. This has Joe thinking that Floyd is trying to take off with the entire load of stolen jewelry. At the motel Floyd falls in love with the motel owners wife gorgeous Michelle Nolton, Ursula Andress, who's, unknown to Floyd at the time, a bit flaky. The local cops come to the motel to check out Floyd and anyone else there trying to cross the border in connection to the Montreal jewel robbery and are then told by the police radio that the two robbers were caught, obviously a false alarm.

Earlier in the film Floyd and Michelle had a roll in bed and when Floyd comes back from the police and checks his motel room he finds that the jewels are missing! who took them? Michelle? Or was it the other half dozen or so people in the motel at the time? If Floyd doesn't find them and split them up with Joe who's getting a little restless waiting he'll end up with his head split in half.

if it wasn't for the aforementioned bad dubbing the movie "Stateline Motel" would have been a pretty good crime drama. The fact that we see Ursala Andress undressed and nude in a really hot and sizzling love scene with Floyd was more then worth the rental coast alone. The ending was pretty bland but very unintentionally funny with the final confrontation between Joe Michelle and Floyd. The shooting of Joe by both Michelle and Floyd looked and sounded as if their guns went off some 5 to 10 or so miles away; thats how long it would have taken for the sound waves to reach the audience. But in reality the gun shots that did Joe in went off at point blank range no more then ten feet away from him.

So who's got the stolen jewels and what's with the motel owner's glum-looking wife. She may be sexy but she's a little weird. Seems someone at the motel has stolen the jewels from Floyd who's stolen them from a jewelry store. So Floyd better figure it all out or his crime partner Joe will figure a double-cross and use that pistol he's always caressing. If this sounds a little difficult, so's the screenplay. Reviewer sol-kay does a good job pointing out holes in the narrative, which undercut logic.

In terms of the cast-- well-known actor Eli Wallach may be headlined, probably for marquee purposes, but he really only turns up in the last third, bringing some much needed energy. Instead, bland Italian actor Testi gets the most screentime among the male performers. And of course there's Andress who gets to show her sexy body (as expected), plus a shot at being more than just that. Then there's cutie Barbara Bach who could have stolen the movie with a little more screen time.

For all the plot holes, the mystery surrounding the jewels manages to hold interest. Also, Michelle's dark psychology forms something of the movie's subtext. Unfortunately, Andress is not quite up to conveying this in effective form. Too bad, because a more nuanced turn could really set the movie apart from just a standard guessing game. To me, the movie squanders what's really promising material, namely, a study in Michelle's perverse psychology. Meanwhile, I'll be getting snow tires next time I travel north.

This Italian crime film is interesting at first, but the pace never picks up. Fabio Testi is a good-hearted robber stranded at the "Last Chance Motel", Ursula Andress is the beautiful (but somewhat stiff) wife of the motel's owner, and Eli Wallach is Testi's partner, who comes after him when the diamonds they stole somehow disappear. You'd expect that the appearance of Wallach would help increase the tension, but that doesn't happen. Some of the night scenes (including the sex scene) are so dark you can't see anything! (**)

Notable actors: Ursula Andress! Eli Wallach! Fabio Testi! Barbara Bach! Howard Ross! Carlo De Mejo!

Most of the plot of this film occurs because Fabio Testi's character is such a dumbass. Really, if you were just released from prison and told to leave Canada, then take part in a jewel heist and sent over the border by your violent partner, would you then start making your car 'dance' all over an icy road because you heard a song you like on the radio? That's what Fabio does, and of course he crashes and ends up not meeting his partner and even more stupidly losing the diamonds he had with him.

The young Ursula Andress stays in the hotel with older husband Fred and step-daughter Barbara Bach. Barbara is going out with a local cop and Ursula seems to be getting it on with a local mechanic (Howard Ross), so Fabio's just walked in on a bloody soap opera. Ursula also makes a beeline for Fabio once he shows up, but when everyone in the hotel catches a news report detailing the heist, some folks figure out what's going on...and violent mobster Eli Wallach is getting impatient for his share of the loot...

Part Eurocrime film, part old school giallo, this one might not have enough nakedness and gore for more folk, but it's an interesting film anyway. It's one of those 'someone has loads of money and everyone is out to get it one way or another' films, like those late sixties Umberto Lenzi gialli. It's got a fair few twists and turns but might just be a wee bit too laid back for its own good.

It probably didn't have enough Eli Wallach when I think about it. How can you underuse Tuco? Especially with that mighty combover he's sporting in this one.

For reasons wholly obscure, and not just a trifle baffling, most appraisals of, Maurizio Lucidi's profoundly entertaining Poliziottesco, 'Motel of Fear' (aka) 'L'ultima Chance' (1973) are somewhat lukewarm affairs, this is a dismissive reading I happily don't share, since, Lucidi's lively, jewel-heisting, dangerously double dealing actioner remains a prime example of punchy Italian exploitation, with solid performances from two legitimate icons, the eternally sleek and moistly fabulous, Fabio Testi, and indelible cult hero, Eli Wallach playing a querulous pair of hard-boiled jewel thieves on the lam who discover to their considerable cost that hot rocks and a hotter blonde are too much for them to handle!

Tougher than a butcher's stropping belt, 'L'ultima Chance' is all about the devious machinations of hard-nosed wise guy, Joe (Eli Wallach), and slickly scheming, funky-looking baller, Floyd, played with a singular machismo by the tremendously testicular tearaway, Testi! The hopped up hoods fretful flight to the Stateline Motel is propelled by robust filmmaking, and a booty-boppin' deluge of righteously funky 'action-riffs' from the funk-master general of B-Movie cool, Luis Bacalov! While much of the amusingly pulpy narrative feels overly familiar, its reliance on all the bellicose, bullet-blasted poliziotteschi clichés works to its advantage.'Stateline Motel' is well worth a visit, the decor's a bit dingy, but who cares about the skeevey upholstery when you can eyeball dazzling screen sirens, Barbara Bach & Ursula Andress?