Sixpack Annie

In a career neatly balancing mainstream episodic television like THE DUKES OF HAZZARD and exploitation cinema such as COVER GIRL MODELS, Lindsay Bloom is by far the cutest starlet to appear in the latter: providing a girl-next-door innocence within the infamously risque guilty-pleasure drive-in cinema...

Herein a perfect fit for the rural hangout romp SIXPACK ANNIE, where her titular character realizes a plot-line halfway through... to find a sugar daddy with enough cash to help her aunt pay for the family diner, where she waitresses with AMERICAN GRAFFITI bellhop Jana Bellan, a cherubic brunette to Bloom's adorable blonde...

It's a shame the pair couldn't be involved in more of the first half's small-town adventures... including run-ins with handsome local Bruce Boxleitner and a boisterous good-old-boy sheriff... since the their down-home-dazzling presence lights up the grungy one-horse town, from pickup-truck-cruising-exteriors to beer-guzzling-barroom interiors...

But once in Florida... where Annie gets dodgy advice from older bubbly-blonde Louisa Moritz, being thrust from one male dud to the next (mostly without sidekick Belllan)... the second-half fails to compliment an actress with enough natural charm to have carried things as far as she could - as SIXPACK ANNIE the character far exceeds the movie.

This is one of the Southern-fried "hickspoiation" flicks that were very popular in the drive-in circuit in the South during the 1970s (even though they didn't always offer a very flattering portrait of the region). This is a lot more tame than most, however, and kind of anticipates the network TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard". (The lead actress, Lindsey Bloom, was a semi-regular on that show and her husband, country singer Mayf Nutter, supposedly inspired it).

Bloom plays the titular sexpot "Six Pack Annie" who tools around in a dusty pickup truck dressed in a halter-top and short-shorts with an ever-present six-pack of beer slung over her shoulder (I guess drunk driving wasn't much of a concern back then). The conflict unfolds when the aunt she lives with is about to lose her diner unless she can come up with $30,000 for the bank. The horny local sheriff (kind of a cross between "Boss Hogg" and "Roscoe P. Coltrane"), who likes to spy on "Annie" and her boyfriend (Bruce Boxleighter) while they skinny-dip, is willing to give her his whole life-savings for a little bit of corn-pone poontang, but he doesn't have enough money, nor does anyone else in this po-dunk town, so she and a friend head down to Miami Beach where her sister (Louise Moritz) is living in order that she can find a rich "sugar daddy"

Bloom is not a bad actress for someone off the "Hee-Haw" circuit, but she spends a little too much time acting and not nearly enough time stripping off (Moritz, at least, spends all her screen time in nothing but a see-through negligee). The movie really goes nowhere after they arrive in Miami Beach, and it is rarely very funny (they even steal a joke from the British comedy classic "Carry on Camping at one point", but I doubt anyone in the Southern drive-ins noticed). Bloom and Moritz were both in a lot of sexploitation flicks in the 1970's like "HOTS", "The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood", and "The Last American Virgin". Most were quite a bit racier than this, but they really weren't any better. If you're a fan of the more tame redneck-athon fare like "The Dukes of Hazzard", you might like this, but definitely have a six-pack (or two) on hand when you watch it.

Silly throughout, you will never get tired from it. Here you have a all-American girl who works at a diner. Here aunt is behind in her payments, and she meets all kinds of weirdos in Miami, Florida. She meets a man with a Napoleon complex, a conman, and other unsavory characters. But she knows how to have fun in a time of uncertainty. This movie has lots of sex appeal to boot. And it's good for a hot Saturday night.

3 out of 5 stars.

Another redneck comedy of the 1970s, SIX-PACK ANNIE centres around the titular character who needs to make money quick and is thus looking for a rich guy to fund her schemes. It's an oddly disjointed and uninspiring production, neither funny nor particularly titillating despite the usual sleaze and nudity from the era, and perhaps a bit tamer than you might be expecting. Having watched this on a double bill with DIRTY O'NEIL I'd say that the other film has a lot more going for it. This one, on the other hand, is static and near plotless, just a collection of run-ins between various uninteresting characters.

AIP ventures into hicksploitation via much cussin', beer drinking, brawlin', a sassy buxom heroine, a lustful Sheriff who slips on a banana peel, two old geezers telling corny 'take my wife' type jokes n' cameos from Billy Barty and a blacked-up Ray Danton...plus lots of plugs for Dr Pepper. Its rather like a big-budget version of a Harry Novak sexploiter (even the poster seems very Novak-ian) had Novak cut down on all that there fornicating and sold his soul to Dr. Pepper