The Thirsty Dead

This imaginative horror take on "Lost Horizon" fails to engage due to poor acting, low-budget and pacing which is too slow. The only memorable performance is that of John Considine in the role of Baru, the sensitive and loving male leader of the Blood drinkers who never age. When he makes the mistake of falling in love with one of the cult's unwilling donors he must pay the ultimate price for leaving his heritage. Considine acts this part well, and it's too bad there wasn't more development of his part and better pacing. His presence creates the only interest in the film.

Shot in the Philippines, Z-grade horror The Thirsty Dead opens with voluptuous go-go dancer Claire (Judith McConnell) gyrating wildly in a cage as drunken sailors ogle admiringly. Shortly after her entertaining routine, the woman is abducted by hooded assailants, and the film goes rapidly downhill from thereon in.

Together with three other women—blonde beauty Ann (Fredricka Meyers), Filipino cutie Bonnie (Chiqui da Rosa), and Laura (Jennifer Billingsley), who ain't so attractive—Claire is transported to the remote jungle headquarters of a strange cult who drink a potion consisting of human blood and leaves that keeps them eternally young. Imprisoned in a papier-mâché cave, the girls are forced to wear sexy bikinis and are drugged for the bleeding ritual, all except for Laura, who is given the opportunity to enjoy immortality thanks to her resemblance to a painting by cult member Baru (John Considine). However, Laura isn't wild on the idea of eternity in a cave and refuses to drink the potion; together with the other three girls, she makes a bid for freedom.

As attractive as Claire, Ann and Bonnie are in their skimpy get-ups, The Thirsty Dead is still extremely hard going, a dreadfully sluggish pace, boring dialogue, a distinct lack of action, wooden performances, and lousy production values all taking their toll on the viewer. Not-so-special effects include the slicing of one of the girl's neck with a knife and the subsequent healing of the wound using a special leaf, a disembodied living head in a glass box (around which bucktoothed cult priestess Ranu, played by Tani Guthrie, does a tribal dance), and the rapid ageing of Baru as he goes beyond the cult's 'Ring of Age' in a bid to help the women escape (after a surprising change of heart).

A cult of the undead abducts beautiful young women in order to drink their blood.

As luridly wonderful as this may sound, THE THIRSTY DEAD is actually just a terrible movie with a great title. It's as though the filmmakers were intent on creating a movie that's as loopy and as brain-crushingly boring as possible.

You'll stare agog waiting for something, anything interesting to occur. Nope, just silly people wandering around in 1960's Star Trek outfits for the better part of 88 minutes.

This is true pain...

I rented this under suspicion. First of all, it was PG. A PG horror movie doesn't promise much. But I gave it a chance.

It was...okay....

The movie is about four women--Laura, Claire, Ann, and Bonnie--who are captured and taken to a cave in the jungle. They see they that there is a large cult-like group there, but they don't know why they are there. Soon Laura realizes that they have been brought here for a terrible reason. She, inparticular, is portrayed as a great queen, and the other three, with many other captives, are kept there for their blood, which keeps the would-be dead cult alive and young. The four must escape.

It isn't a terrible movie, but it isn't really scary. It's somewhat interesting, and if you're looking for a very mild horror movie, then I suggest this. There is barely any blood, no profanity, and no nudity. The acting isn't terrible. (What a surprise! Most movies like this have the worst of actors.) And there is a lot of action towards the end. If you are into softcore horror movies, check this out. If you want something more, pass it.

This movie's main flaw seems to be that it takes itself too seriously. Its skirting around camp, taken in consideration with some moments that seem quite earnestly acted and scripted (however poorly it worked out), becomes an unintentional side-effect. This negates 90% of the reason to watch this movie. It is cheaply made on top of this which detracts even further in that rather than go for a more natural look, they tried for some sort of sci-fi exotica kind of thing and ended up with a office dress party.

The plot works fair enough, though it probably would have worked more had they dropped the horror pretenses and moved straight into action/adventure style territory. There is no new ground here.

The acting is not always wooden, and has some okay moments, but is largely inconsistent. Signs of grief or panic are often achieved by a far off look or a hand biting scene.

All in all, the biggest flaw here (besides a low budget, which they could have worked around, I have seen too many good low budget movies) is that they are tapping into a 1950's era schlock flick flavor, and somehow trying to keep it fresh and end up with a poor mix altogether.