The Thirsty Dead

This imaginative horror take on "Lost Horizon" fails to engage due to poor acting, low-budget and pacing which is too slow. The only memorable performance is that of John Considine in the role of Baru, the sensitive and loving male leader of the Blood drinkers who never age. When he makes the mistake of falling in love with one of the cult's unwilling donors he must pay the ultimate price for leaving his heritage. Considine acts this part well, and it's too bad there wasn't more development of his part and better pacing. His presence creates the only interest in the film.

I rented this under suspicion. First of all, it was PG. A PG horror movie doesn't promise much. But I gave it a chance.

It was...okay....

The movie is about four women--Laura, Claire, Ann, and Bonnie--who are captured and taken to a cave in the jungle. They see they that there is a large cult-like group there, but they don't know why they are there. Soon Laura realizes that they have been brought here for a terrible reason. She, inparticular, is portrayed as a great queen, and the other three, with many other captives, are kept there for their blood, which keeps the would-be dead cult alive and young. The four must escape.

It isn't a terrible movie, but it isn't really scary. It's somewhat interesting, and if you're looking for a very mild horror movie, then I suggest this. There is barely any blood, no profanity, and no nudity. The acting isn't terrible. (What a surprise! Most movies like this have the worst of actors.) And there is a lot of action towards the end. If you are into softcore horror movies, check this out. If you want something more, pass it.

Shot in the Philippines, Z-grade horror The Thirsty Dead opens with voluptuous go-go dancer Claire (Judith McConnell) gyrating wildly in a cage as drunken sailors ogle admiringly. Shortly after her entertaining routine, the woman is abducted by hooded assailants, and the film goes rapidly downhill from thereon in.

Together with three other women—blonde beauty Ann (Fredricka Meyers), Filipino cutie Bonnie (Chiqui da Rosa), and Laura (Jennifer Billingsley), who ain't so attractive—Claire is transported to the remote jungle headquarters of a strange cult who drink a potion consisting of human blood and leaves that keeps them eternally young. Imprisoned in a papier-mâché cave, the girls are forced to wear sexy bikinis and are drugged for the bleeding ritual, all except for Laura, who is given the opportunity to enjoy immortality thanks to her resemblance to a painting by cult member Baru (John Considine). However, Laura isn't wild on the idea of eternity in a cave and refuses to drink the potion; together with the other three girls, she makes a bid for freedom.

As attractive as Claire, Ann and Bonnie are in their skimpy get-ups, The Thirsty Dead is still extremely hard going, a dreadfully sluggish pace, boring dialogue, a distinct lack of action, wooden performances, and lousy production values all taking their toll on the viewer. Not-so-special effects include the slicing of one of the girl's neck with a knife and the subsequent healing of the wound using a special leaf, a disembodied living head in a glass box (around which bucktoothed cult priestess Ranu, played by Tani Guthrie, does a tribal dance), and the rapid ageing of Baru as he goes beyond the cult's 'Ring of Age' in a bid to help the women escape (after a surprising change of heart).

A cult of the undead abducts beautiful young women in order to drink their blood.

As luridly wonderful as this may sound, THE THIRSTY DEAD is actually just a terrible movie with a great title. It's as though the filmmakers were intent on creating a movie that's as loopy and as brain-crushingly boring as possible.

You'll stare agog waiting for something, anything interesting to occur. Nope, just silly people wandering around in 1960's Star Trek outfits for the better part of 88 minutes.

This is true pain...

This was included in the "Living Dead" 9-film collection I rented; however, there are no zombies here – and the title itself isn't a reference to anything in particular! The Widescreen print of this one was the best-looking from the four titles I watched – but the same can't be said of the film, which is perhaps the least of them (certainly the campiest, particularly where costumes are concerned)!

Starting off with a White Slavery-type plot, it soon falls into formulaic "She" territory – involving a lost civilization who has achieved immortality (presided over by a disembodied living head preserved in a block of ice!). This gives it an old-fashioned air (the film is remarkably chaste) and makes the whole incongruous alongside the permissiveness prevalent in exploitation/horror fare of the time (though, at least, three of its female protagonists look good in skimpy jungle attire).

One of the women happens to look just like the painting of a blonde who had appeared to these enlightened people in a vision – so, instead of draining her slowly of blood, they want her to join their fold and be initiated into their lifestyle (which doesn't sit well with one of the girl's companions, a go-go dancer, who would love to exchange places with her…especially since the heroine will have no part of this deal!). A high priest falls for her and, eventually, helps the survivors escape (and liberates the imprisoned old hags, remnants of their 'experiments' over the centuries) – except that, once he gets near to the modern world, starts reverting to his real decrepit age!

The film offers no surprises whatsoever but, what really gets it down, is a serious pacing problem – being not so much slow-moving as ineptly-handled, the direction showing a distinct lack of judgment with respect to cutting where it could benefit story and suspense the most! For the record, I followed this with a bunch of trailers included on another disc in the set: I was particularly enticed by the ones for THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES (1968) – for how bad it appears to be, not to mention the momentous pairing of John Carradine and Tura Satana! – and THE CHILD (1977) – yet another EXORCIST clone.