Geoffrey Palmer credited as playing...
Jimmy Anderson • Jimmy
- [Jimmy is explaining to Reggie what kinds of people his secret army will be against]
- Jimmy Anderson: Wreckers of law and order. Communists, Maoists, Trotskyists, neo-Trotskyists, crypto-Trotskyists, union leaders, Communist union leaders, atheists, agnostics, long-haired weirdos, short-haired weirdos, vandals, hooligans, football supporters, namby-pamby probation officers, rapists, papists, papist rapists, foreign surgeons - headshrinkers, who ought to be locked up, Wedgwood Benn, keg bitter, punk rock, glue-sniffers, "Play For Today", Clive Jenkins, Roy Jenkins, Up Jenkins, up everybody's, Chinese restaurants - why do you think Windsor Castle is ringed with Chinese restaurants?
- Reginald Perrin: You realise the sort of people you're going to attract, don't you, Jimmy? Thugs, bully-boys, psychopaths, sacked policemen, security guards, sacked security guards, racialists, Paki-bashers, queer-bashers, Chink-bashers, anybody-bashers, rear Admirals, queer admirals, Vice Admirals, fascists, neo-fascists, crypto-fascists, loyalists, neo-loyalists, crypto-loyalists.
- Jimmy Anderson: Do you think so? I thought recruitment might be difficult.
- Jimmy Armstrong: Compost heaps, pros and cons. Credit side - Big enough. Nice and warm. Element of surprise when attacked by compost heap considerable. Debit side - Smelly, bad for morale. Field of vision limited. Delay in getting out of compost heap considerable. And, erm, anyway we haven't got any. Careful consideration, but on balance, "thumbs down".
- Reginald Perrin: Congratulations, Jimmy. Well done!
- Jimmy Armstrong: Why? What for?
- Reginald Perrin: For deciding it shouldn't be compost heaps.