Tim Preece credited as playing...
Tom Patterson • Tom
- [a board meeting is taking place at Grot Headquarters]
- Tom Patterson: I have distributed among you a few campaign ideas - I'm not really a campaign person - and slogans. I won't bore you with my slogan ideas now.
- Reginald Perrin: No, no, Tom, I insist that you bore us with them now.
- Tom Patterson: Oh. Well, there was one - I'm not really a slogan person - it went: "Go to Grot shops and get an eyeful, of Perrin's Products with a wide range of goods that are really pretty awful".
- Reginald Perrin: Excellent, Tom! Perfect!
- Tom Patterson: It doesn't rhyme or scan properly.
- Reginald Perrin: It almost rhymes and scans properly, that's the important thing. This is exactly what I'm paying you for.
- Tom Patterson: Thank you. Well, I'll just give you one more, perhaps: "Grot is the ideal place for gifts, because they're all on one floor, so there aren't any lifts." They aren't all of that standard, of course.