At the Earth's Core

I'm serious as well, I mean don't get me wrong, if you haven't got a bent for this type of Z grade, creaky creature feature (why would you be watching is my first thought?) then it's most likely a rating of about 4 to 5 out of 10 tops, but to me it's a special kind of nonsense that takes me back to a nice time in my childhood. You know the kind, where the memories have never left you. Eagerly taking it all in with youthful wonderment as Doug McClure and Peter Cushing tunnel beneath the mantle to do battle with a host of creatures and sub-human species. And guys! Now we are all grown up we can admire most seriously at the wonder of Caroline Munro and her heaving cleavage. No wonder my older brother was keen to take me to the cinema to see this one!

Yes the effects are bad, men in suits, strings pinging parrot monsters around and exploding rubber frog like thingies amuse us greatly. And yes, Cushing and a surprisingly pudgy McClure (wearing bell bottomed flared trousers) act as if they have truly been mesmerised by the evil Meyhas at the "core" of our film. But it matters not, zany and clunky and awash in glorious colour, At The Earth's Core is a throwback to a special pre ILM time when kids like me queued around the block to see such joyous nonsense. 8/10

This film begins with a wonderful piece of music and an excellently tense and edge-of-seat sequence in which Victorian scientists (played by Doug McClure and Peter Cushing) drill into the depths of the earth in their 'Iron Mole'. You truly believe you're going to see a great film to rival 'The Land That Time Forgot'. But then the two companions arrive in the underground world and encounter their first monster, which is quite obviously a man in an outfit which looks like a dinosaur with a parrot's face. From here it's downhill all the way as the intrepid scientists encounter ovens with tentacles on strings, fire-breathing critters with clearly visible flame-thrower nozzles and pterodactyl-people who, when they fall down, explode for no apparent reason. It's a shame the special-effects are so awful, as the storyline is quite interesting with some good situations and the music is excellently atmospheric. But what we have here is a good script let down by poor execution. All I can say in this film's favor is it's watchably bad. But I'd have been a lot happier if it was watchably good.

Make no mistake, this is a very silly movie. Peter Cushing knew it; he gives one of his most over-the-top, ham it up performances.

Generally speaking, this movie has awful production values. Flying rubber pterodactyl creatures ruling the underworld. Piggish humanoid servants of said pterodactyls. A vapid, vacant-eyed Caroline Munro. An oh-so-macho leading man who, when you really look at him, doesn't look all that tough.

Still, At the Earth's Core has a charming innocence about it that gives it a bit of appeal. Best viewed by 10 year old boys on rainy Saturday afternoons, it's all in good fun.

Way back in the 70s, when I was kid, we didn't have fancy CGI effects in our monster movies: if we were lucky, the film featured stop motion work, but often they would rely on men in shonky rubber suits, made to look enormous through dodgy matte work or back projection.

Case in point: At The Earth's Core, a ropey adaptation of an Edgar Rice Burroughs story (which I caught on its original release in '76) that presents creatures so pathetic that I'm surprised that any of the actors in the film managed to keep a straight face. To their credit, though, B-movie hunk Doug McClure and horror legend Peter Cushing do manage to hold back the laughter, playing a couple of Victorian explorers who travel under the Earth's crust in a mechanical 'mole', only to discover lost civilisations and prehistoric monsters.

Even as an 8 year old kid, I remember being distinctly unimpressed with this pretty poor effort from director Kevin Connor, finding not only the effects to be laughably bad, but also the acting to be of a pretty poor standard (Cushing, in particular, gives an amazingly hammy performance that still makes me cringe to watch). Nowadays, however, I find this whole sorry affair just about watchable thanks to the gorgeous Caroline Munro, a major hottie of the 70s who spends this film prancing around in a skimpy outfit that reveals her ample cleavage, and the unintentional laughs that can be had from the awful dialogue, bargain basement visuals, and general atmosphere of cheesiness.

Funny, I'd read most of Edgar Rice Burroughs' fantasy adventure novels by the time I saw this movie, and knew that this wasn't Pellucidar: where were the vast, open spaces of the hollow earth, the blazing sun, the endless forests and lakes and mountains? Where were the friggin' tarags and thipdars?? And yet, this cheesy movie has managed to stick with me over the years. I love the cramped, fake-looking sets, the dazed actors playing slaves, the hyperactive Sagoths acting like Japanese prison camp guards in some WWII flick. And best of all are the dinosaurs, looking more like something from a medieval bestiary than actual prehistoric animals. They seem to combine aspects of human, rhino, frog, titanothere, you name it. All this, and cave princess Caroline Munro running around screaming, shooting smoky glances at Doug McClure from her sexy, kohl-rimmed eyes. It was TOO MUCH.

I can't help it. At the Earth's Core is one of my all-time great guilty pleasures. I only wish I could see it properly in a movie theater with an audience some day before I die.