SS Experiment Love Camp

SS Experiment Love Camp is a film that makes Love Camp 7 look downright lovable. And I don't mean that in a 'This isn't a film for wimps, while Love Camp 7 is' kind of way. I mean that relatively speaking, Love Camp 7 has a lot going for it and may engage or entertain you in its special fashion, but that SS Experiment Love Camp most certainly does not, and won't.

'Sex experiments in pursuit of a better tomorrow!' screams the tagline. Being carried out by various fools in a Nazi-run slave brothel during WWII, these experiments consist in the first place of observing how German soldiers couple with female prisoners in transparent waist- high water tanks, or on white-sheeted beds. Cue softcore sex scenes. The second kind of experiment involves no sex but lots of particularly idiotic violence. I'll admit that the cruelty of some of these scenes is affecting, but it's hard to get away from the pervading feeling of stupidity. For instance, can you really learn anything by sticking a tube in a woman's ear and then blasting her eardrum with several atmospheres of pressure? The folks playing the unflappable camp staff act as if they really think they can. Truly, it's not just for the purposes of sadism. 'What, she's dead? Get another one in, we'll try the experiment again.' They're also obsessed with perfecting the 'uterus transplant' procedure, a yucky effect you get to see at least three times. Unsurprisingly, these operations, which were clearly going nowhere, come to nothing. The film is for the most part a momentumless series of such softcore sex and shabbily portrayed torture scenes, further undercut by the silliest-looking dubbing I've seen in a film of this genre and the least convincing casting of a period film ever. The German troops look and act - and above all, sound - like American GIs.

Even for folks who want to watch them - like myself - these Nazi sexploitation films are acknowledged as being pretty hard to surpass in terms of bad taste, so when one is executed as dumbly as SS Experiment Love Camp, it sort of topples over into a zone where it could easily be viewed as a complete insult to humanity. You've got a film about Nazi experiments, but they're quite ridiculous. The film's hopeless in its period detail and everyone has a broad American accent. Jewishness isn't mentioned at all (not totally exceptional for this genre, but in this film, again, it somehow looks worse). There's almost no development, no suspense and no engagement value of any kind, except during the last twenty minutes, when they throw in the testicular transplant plot development which I haven't previously mentioned. The ball action and some unintended laughs are about the only things which stick out of this quite dull, dumb and thoroughly poor entry in the genre.

When I decided to see every film on the DPP 'Video Nasty' list, I knew I'd be letting myself in for some rubbish; but I really didn't expect anything this depressingly awful. This movie transcends the bounds of 'so bad it's good' and just becomes bad. There are some other bad films on the list, but most of those at least have some redeeming values; this one really does have nothing. The centrepiece of the film has to do with the 'first ever' testicle transplant, and that's the only narrative that runs throughout. The rest of the film is padded out by lots of pointless 'experiments' and other tedious happenings, and it's clear that director Sergio Garrone wanted to make this as sleazy as possible in order to sell tickets - but I like sleaze, and this isn't it. This film was, like The Driller Killer, banned in the UK because of the cover art; and that's hardly surprising, as aside from the aforementioned transplant and a few sex scenes; there really isn't anything here to warrant banning, or seeking the film out for. I've been thankful to the DPP and their shopping list in the past, as it's allowed me to discover some great hidden gems such as The House on Straw Hill and The Witch Who Came From the Sea; films that I otherwise might not have seen, but I'm annoyed that I bothered to see this. On the whole, there's nothing to see this movie for; and I certainly don't recommend it.

Yet another nazi-prison movie, that followed after Ilses success. This one has the usual stuff;lesbian warden, sadistic guards, forced co-workers and lotsa young women in shower/softcore sex scenes. The only highlight in this movie, is when the hero has his testicles removed, so the Kommandant can have them implanted (he lost them on the front, to a russian girl). Rather predictable and the torture scenes are kindda boring - for anyone who have seen this type of movie before.

Maybe one of the saddest things a human being can do is to watch a movie like "SS Experiment Love Camp" and criticize it. It's like what did you expect? I understand it when people analyze and discuss compelling works of film like "Apocalypse, Now", but the fact that you with your own will sit through a nazisploitation piece of litter such as this, and have the balls to talk crap on top of it? Oh man, that's ridiculous. And the fact that I'm making an effort to write about this 1976 video nasty, proves that I'm one of these freaks.

As one might suspect, the title gives away everything you possibly need to know. It's exactly what it says. Some people might confuse this to an actual porn feature in whatever weird store that holds this thing in their shelves, but it's a lot lower than that. There are many many naked chicks and almost every scene introduces a pair of genuine POW tits, but the sex/orgy scenes deliver nothing more than the usual sleazy scrubbing that goes on just so they can reach a full feature length.

There's basically four sections to this film: soft-core eroticism, surgical scenes to show some gory guts, female torture scenes, and pointless dialogue about the cunning plans of the Nazis. It's like these ingredients were put in a blender to produce an extra sloppy script. And yes, there is a romance between one of the Nazis and a prisoner. Who would have thought?

Many people find "SS Experiment Love Camp" boring, and that's because it is boring. Even the most deviant scenes aren't much anything to behold. Everything relies merely on naked breasts and screaming. Fans of gore will be disappointed and bored to death, while woman haters get what they want. God forbid if a feminist ever gets near this thing. That's also the beauty of exploitation cinema; most of the stuff that was produced in the 70s alone would never get into a theater these days.

This movie is bad. Watch it if you're a weird exploitation buff like me who just can't keep away from this crap. Also mandatory for video nasty perfectionists, all sorts of psychos, and SSadists. If some mistake this to a cheesy "so-bad-it's-good" flick, they have made a mistake that will probably just leave a bad taste in their mouths.

"SS Experiment Camp", as it's known in Britain, first found fame with its promotional poster - in the early days of video in the UK, when only cheap titles were being released, video store owners brightened up their shops with its lurid artwork of a tortured semi-naked girl hanging upside down in a prison yard, with the spooky face of an evil Nazi officer hovering behind. The result was outrage, and the beginning of the Video Nasties panic, resulting in the banning of this and almost 80 other films.

I don't think "SS Experiment Camp" is currently available uncut anywhere in the world, which is hardly surprising - even Anchor Bay would turn their noses up at this one. Obviously it's in UNBELIEVABLY poor taste, and yes it does take ludicrous liberties with its portrayal of Nazi death camps, but what really stands out about this movie is how appallingly bad it is. All these things come together most startlingly in the memorable scene where a lady prisoner, who has been repeatedly raped to orgasm by a sadistic female doctor, piles marmalade onto her bread and sighs "I haven't had marmalade for ages...if these guys keep treating us like this, they've got my vote!" Jaw-dropping.

The torture scenes aren't very realistic, but they're INCREDIBLY mean-spirited (the even-worse sequel to this movie, the charmingly titled "SS Camp 5: Women's Hell" has more torture, which the filmmakers absolutely revel in). "SS Experiment Camp" is a very, very badly made film - those of us with a taste for extremely sick kitsch watch it for its ludicrous, campy sleaziness - for which we should be thankful. If it was a well-made film, it would be pretty impossible to watch without puking your guts up.